With fathers like this…….. By Lorre It’s not you, it’s him You don’t need to be prettier You don’t need to be smarter And…you don’t need to be more talented You don’t need to kiss his ass You shouldn’t have to beg for his time and attention It’s not you, it’s him You don’t need… Read More I hope there wasn’t a limit on my carry on bags.
You heard it here first. I’m not making enough money at my current corner. I don’t know if it’s because I’m smack dab in the middle of a wretched economic time, or that I strap my baby to my back when I’m trolling. You know, if you visited here, you’d realize that the baby on the… Read More Turning the Corner
On this day, 43 years ago, God decided to bless a woman and a man with a beautiful son. The angels watched over him since then, making sure that he could celebrate this special day and enjoy all the blessings in life. Happy Birthday to my wonderful husband. FUCK! I thought this was Facebook. Sorry guys.… Read More Sentiment via social media. The new greeting card?
The day is almost over, but I want to say thanks to my smoking hot husband. Thanks for hooking up with a woman with two kids, shacking up with her for a little over five years, getting hitched and impregnating her. Oh yeah…and thanks for being married to me now for three years. We are really going… Read More Happy Anniversary Sucker!
He’s not my friend. He’s my husband October 27th, 2011 Disclaimer: If you and your spouse are besties, you may be offended by this. Too fucking bad. I hear a lot of people say their spouse is their best friend. On Facebook, there are a myriad of posts announcing “On this day blah, blah years ago,… Read More Reheated Leftovers: Like the networks, enjoy the rerun!
Here’s to all the women, who are old and foolish, like me….have another child, don’t have another child, drink some more alcohol? Whatever! We’re only as old as we feel it’s said, but our eggs might say otherwise. Ken met Barbie They fell head over heels Proposed marriage, bought a house Started to pile up… Read More Whose a Rotten Egg? (Barbie style….)
Disclaimer: If you and your spouse are besties, you may be offended by this. Too fucking bad. I hear a lot of people say their spouse is their best friend. On Facebook, there are a myriad of posts announcing “On this day blah, blah years ago, I married my best friend.” I just can’t relate. First of… Read More He’s not my friend. He’s my husband
“Oh….you don’t have to do that right now. (Long Pause) You can do it later.” This is mostly a spouse to spouse thing. I love that they give permission for you to do work at a later time. Screw helping you! They have more important things to do. “You aren’t fat. Your metabolism is just slow”.… Read More Said for the better….makes you feel worse
Articles of Absurdity 