Tag: like a virgin pina colada
Are you giving me the pregnant eye?
My first thought is: “Not in a million years!”. Kissing this dude would be like giving oral sex to my dryer’s lint tray. Someone, out there, reading this, knows for sure. AND….some, might be turned on, but I digress. Crazy fetish? My second thought is: “Smashup!” I want to do what Reese’s did for peanut… Read More Are you giving me the pregnant eye?
I can’t stop flashing you.
I’m sorry to overwhelm you with my incessant flashing, but I wrote these a bit back and never posted. Get comfy and prepare yourself to be entertained or bored to death. Either way, you might be at your computer longer than expected. These were submitted to the M3 Flash Challenge (Flash in the Pan) Winter… Read More I can’t stop flashing you.
Jodie Foster inspired me.
Today is my four-year wedding anniversary. Condolences can be sent to my husband at a later date. Making it through another year of marriage is amazing. I’m proud to say, I’ve handled my relationship almost completely sober, 100% drug-free and without stuffing my face with Crisco frosted Twinkies. We’ve had our ups and down. We… Read More Jodie Foster inspired me.
Flash in the Pan: Book
After leaving his family, Charlie came home to only a note. Charles, Thanks for getting milk. It would’ve been nice if you brought it back before you left. Don’t worry about the kids or feel guilty. They only cry for you every night. Michael’s therapy is coming along. The shrink says he might be able… Read More Flash in the Pan: Book
Stop, Drop and Roll
No Parking Drop Off Only Sync to memory You: Ice, Me: Zamboni Floorboard to curb Ain’t that far Your kids got this Keep your ass in the car Drop off only Not for stalking your kid It’s for trusting parents Who let them eat without bibs And don’t slow us down more To open… Read More Stop, Drop and Roll
Weekly Photo Challenge: MINE
On MY soapbox with MY stripper shoes. They are all MINE.
Flash in the Pan: Vise/Vice
My wife just couldn’t accept the inevitable. Time moves on. We age and we grow. The twins were no exception. As much as she wanted them to stay their perfect and cute size, it wasn’t going to happen. Time passed, just like I told her it would. New growth spurts occurred with every birthday, but… Read More Flash in the Pan: Vise/Vice
Microsoft Scammers: Anyone could do that job?
Can I touch it? Can I touch it?
Before the kids were home for the summer, I was going to the YMCA quite regularly……kickboxing, running, weights and some cycling. Summer hit and that went south quick. BUT………..To my delight, I still lost weight. I guess my move to watered down beer finally made a difference on my waistline. On a whim………I tried on… Read More Can I touch it? Can I touch it?
Articles of Absurdity 