SO…….Thing 1 (12-years-old) was watching reality television with me last night. It doesn’t seem surprising that reality TV would lend itself to sexual issues, but we weren’t watching Bad Girls or The Bachelor/ette. AND…….Big Brother doesn’t come on for a few more months. I thought I was safe, but clearly, I was wrong. WE WERE… Read More Cooking and singing lead to sex talk.
My first thought is: “Not in a million years!”. Kissing this dude would be like giving oral sex to my dryer’s lint tray. Someone, out there, reading this, knows for sure. AND….some, might be turned on, but I digress. Crazy fetish? My second thought is: “Smashup!” I want to do what Reese’s did for peanut… Read More Are you giving me the pregnant eye?
I’m going to let someone else entertain you today. I’d like to breakdown your brain cells by exposing you to my inappropriate friend Stirling and his equally damaged partner in comedy. Wild Mullet Kingdom: Episode 1 “The Capture” (Uncensored)
Truthfully though, they are all intertwined. <a href=”http://www.bloglovin.com/blog/3960736/?claim=6evrfqfsgvz”>Follow my blog with Bloglovin</a>
SO……..I stumbled upon the oddest thing. I found (in my twisted mind) a transcript of a phone call between Michael Jackson and some chick. That in itself is odd…..I know! BUT……It’s crazy, because the phone call uses every song title from his albums: OFF THE WALL (1979) THRILLER (82) BAD (87) DANGEROUS (91) HISTORY (95)… Read More Michael Jackson: Newly Released Phone Call from 1995
SO……Here is a letter I received in my inbox last night. Hello, My name is Jeremie Mouithsone, I’m launching a guys and girl’s go-to magazine for everything from the coolest new sex advice to the most powerful sexual attraction tips; our aim is arm men and women with the tools to create and live… Read More Jeremie Mouithsone: Who?
OMG! This is an awkward follow-up to my earlier posting Outsourcing scams to India: Would they sound sweeter with Bollywood Music? Read First!!!! NOW…….There was not supposed to be a follow-up, but those mothers called me back again. They are relentless. I could have just hung up, but I wanted to ask them some more questions to… Read More Engaged in foreplay and I had no clue.
Here I am, 42 years old with a 20 month old. When he’s 18, I’ll be……well…….old. My energy is not what it once. SO…..I was thinking about those teen moms. You have something interesting to post on Facebook. You get to go shopping for more clothes. Easy to lose weight and get girlie figure back.… Read More Teen Pregnancy: Brilliance or Dumbass Mistake?
I can’t resist. I heard some people talking about the magic and mystery of conception. Now…I’m not going to get into a religious, spiritual or physiological discussion here. I do have some theories though. Bear with me. This can get complicated. How did this happen? Someone: fucked got laid copulated had sexual intercourse screwed shagged… Read More Mystery of conception……duh!
For hours you tried to get me Wanted alive or dead Anything to have me Lying in your bed Instead of being patient Or even being kind You pulled out your wallet To bargain for my time Finally you found your table And you left me alone I could still feel your stare I prayed… Read More The Bar
Articles of Absurdity 