WARNING: Wordy. BUT….It’s been a long time, so don’t you owe me?
Yep. I’m talking about this barren blog. For those of you who still pay attention on here, you’ll see that everything is gone. You can laugh uncomfortably, but don’t cry. Things have been crazy busy, but mostly in my head. Though that isn’t unusual, I’ve been struggling with this blog for awhile. Haven’t you heard? I’m evolving.
Let me try to explain. Okay…..Here’s where I might lose some of you, literally and metaphorically. Leaving breadcrumbs won’t help. I’ll just turn around and eat them.
Anyway…..I was in a “not so hot” marriage and traveling down the road of divorce in 2004. I thought to myself: “I need God! He’ll fix this.” (Not how it works by the way.) and began going to a church, which can only be described as a “ Kool-Aid Supplier”. I was too naive (…seriously) to realize most everyone had red punch stains around their lips. There I was, drowning in a sea of hypocrisy and mumbo jumbo. The lifeguards didn’t even know CPR. Still an idiot to all that was wrong there, I got saved in 2005. And….not from a plane crash, not from a near drowning and not from food poisoning. I got saved as in “accepted Jesus Christ as my Savior”. Are you still with me? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller? Beuller? Now…..It was sincere. I really accepted him, but the people who surrounded me at the time, were not the best supporting cast. If my memory serves, I was baptized on my 35th birthday. My “friends” took me out on my birthday for food and drinks…….before the baptism. I’m pretty sure it shouldn’t have gone down like that. Also, they held posters up with some kind of encouraging words and got a bit rowdy. Really, it wasn’t America’s Got Religious Talent. I should’ve know then.
Let’s fast forward through the rest: I spent a lot of years struggling (…still am) because the “mentors” I found weren’t quite legit. They were always around and were super friendly, but their values and morals didn’t match up. They were good at talking the talk, but they had a hard time walking the walk. Now…..I understand that no one is perfect. Everyone stumbles and falls, but let’s just say their catch phrase should’ve been “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up.” I finally left the brick and mortar behind, but it took me several more years to break from the flesh and bone influences. It’s not to say they influenced my decisions, but they influenced my mood, my spirit. and even my reaction to things when I was in their presence. I’ve said many times that you need to surround yourself with those who share the same values you do. And religion aside, the most basic values were not there. I finally broke free. It was painful and ugly, but I feel like I can breathe again……oxygen, not carbon dioxide.
SO……Let’s get to now and why my blog content has mysteriously disappeared. As far as people go, I think I’m pretty good. I have a good heart and I care about others….blah, blah, blah. BUT…..As a role model for my kids and to truly live my salvation, I could use some tweaking. For example: Cursing like a sailor (slight exaggeration) might not really be necessary. Finding new ways and words to express myself, could be challenging and fun.
It’s a New Year…..almost. It’s time to come clean. One of my resolutions is to “walk the walk”. And….This blog has to be a part of it. I’ve made all my posts private until I can go through them and repost with adjustments. My friend assures me I can “walk the walk” and still be my humorous self. Let’s see if she’s right. If I don’t walk quite right, I’ll blame it on my recent foot surgeries. Can I do that? Does it work that way?