My first thought is: “Not in a million years!”.
Kissing this dude would be like giving oral sex to my dryer’s lint tray.
Someone, out there, reading this, knows for sure.
AND….some, might be turned on, but I digress.
Crazy fetish?
My second thought is: “Smashup!”
I want to do what Reese’s did for peanut butter and chocolate.
Say what?
Idea: Let’s put two things together and make something magical.
Condoms and Glasses
Still don’t see where this is going?
Condom Glasses!
(Please help me come up with a wonderful name for this new product.)
They deploy at the exact moment of visual arousal.
Why do we need these you ask?
For those women, you know the ones……..
”I get pregnant every time someone looks at me.”
We have to have some type of protection, some type of birth control for men who have the power to release microscopic sperm from their eyes. This is quite an epidemic people. It is also quite reckless. It’s astonishing how many children are brought into this world because someone looked at their momma in the wrong way. What’s even more disturbing is this: How does that child even know who his/her daddy is? It’s going to take a retinal scan on the Maury Povich show to straighten that shit out. AND seriously……The chances of finding the “baby daddy” are pretty slim. God help you if you are identified as giving someone “the pregnant eye”. You can look forward to child support for that kid and probably hundreds more. If you are capable of giving the pregnant eye to one, then chances are, you’ve given it to another. Aren’t their enough excuses to put kids in therapy without adding this to the list?
SO…Let’s come up with a fabulous name.
Let’s get this product out in the world.
AND…Let’s start protecting ourselves.
I wonder what the Sharks would think?
Articles of Absurdity 
Plastic penis peepers.
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Nice name.
Hey…..Went over to your site……saw, read, commented…Oh shit! I couldn’t. Got as far as hitting the comment button and it wouldn’t let me go through.
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Take off your plastic penis peepers and try again. Yep, they’re that good.
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Damn…..I didn’t get you pregnant, did I? That would be some kind of weird.
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I’ll update you in a couple of weeks.
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A couple of those “Sharks” should be wearing those glasses and their daddies should have too.
Name: Pregnant Preventer Poppers
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HAHA…..Nice job.
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Eye Jazzles
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Thanks for not saying “jizzles”.
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Twisted genius – do you think contact lenses could be modified as well?
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It’s settled. You are on my design and marketing team. Brilliant! It’s like wearing little airbags. And….They are disposable already.
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Can I wear a tank top to the meetings?
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Hells yes.
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Remind me in the future “Do Not Read on Sunday Morning with Coffee!!”
retinaphucknomores
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I suppose I could post warnings. Send me the cleaning bill.
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Unsighted spermacide. I tried to cum up with something.
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Look at you getting all crazy up in here. Love it.
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You must be rubbing off on me. 😆
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Sorry, but there is no cure.
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Hmmm….perhaps the Arabs have had it right all along!! Cover everything!!
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Genius! That’s probably why they do that.
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This posting could be seen
as naughty you know? 😉 lmao
How are you getting on Lorre
and don’t say anything wicked
or else? 😉 xxxx
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I’ll try to keep my legs closed. I mean….my mouth closed in relation to naughty things. I’m getting along slowly as I try to wrap up some things on the homefront that are keeping me from writing.
I’ve missed the usual banter. I hope all is well with you my wicked friend.
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My Space is gone again but I will send you an email, that is if I have it… Of course you could always click edit on a comment I have made to grab mine, hey my email I meant cheeky 🙂 lol Have fun tonight Lorre and be good 🙂 xxx
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You’re in, you’re out, you’re in, you’re out….You know what I mean. Your “space” is what I’m talking about dirty one that you are. Well, get things straight for when I get my ass moving and my mouse.
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