Jodie Foster inspired me.

Today is my four-year wedding anniversary. Condolences can be sent to my husband at a later date.

Lorre Giving Speech

Making it through another year of marriage is amazing.

I’m proud to say, I’ve handled my relationship almost completely sober, 100% drug-free and without stuffing my face with Crisco frosted Twinkies.

We’ve had our ups and down. We fight like cats and dogs, but we make up like sex-starved teens with better stamina.

There are some people I’d like to thank who made this union possible. First, I’d like to thank my ex-husband.

If it weren’t for his penis constantly popping out of his pants and going into others, I might still be in an unsatisfying marriage.

Next, I’d like to thank my husband’s ex.

Due to the high probability that we’ll end up as victims on an episode of Snapped, we must be delicate.

Thanks for your “inappropriate” relationships.

After my speech, please remind me to buy a Taser and get a restraining order.


I’m blessed to have a husband who doesn’t mind having a used/pre-owned car.

Yes. I did just say that about myself. BUT…I’ve got plenty of mileage left.

As my hubby says: “We’ll never get a divorce. The sex alone will keep me here.”

He can use this almost 43 year-old with four kids all he wants.

He doesn’t mind if I work outside or inside the home. I don’t mind if he uses neck ties or bungee cords.

It doesn’t get much better than that kids.

I love you Mr. Articles of Absurdity!

Happy No Divorcesary!

(…thanks for loaning me the dress Jodi.)

28 thoughts on “Jodie Foster inspired me.

  1. Happy anniversary! I feel similarly thankfu towards Mr. Weebles’s ex-wife; if she weren’t certifiably insane, Mr. Weebles and I would never have gotten together. May you and Mr. AofA have many happy years together.


  2. Best No Divorcesary speech ever!
    (And it sounds like you’re more likely to be on one of those late night Cinemax reality shows than Snapped.)

    And here’s to a lifetime of happy years together!


  3. Congrats Lorre! I hadn’t been by in a while and I guess I picked a good time. Sorry for rolling through all the posts I read the lazy way. Here’s to 44 (but like in a sex-starved teen way) and a Sammy Elf giveaway in your future somewhere. That was hilarious!


  4. Congratulations Lorre on the four years, now you just need to keep making it up, noooo I mean the sex starved wickedness bit, cheeky 🙂 😉 Oh and another thing you need to click edit on my comment and grab my email, then send me something, anything so that I can use your email to send you an invite…

    I tried but failed as I cannot remember your username, of course if you would like to click on my comment instead of sending me an email then do so, and once the page opens showing my Private Space, just click Request Access and I can let you in that way 🙂 How about that for a good chat up line? 😉 Kidding… Now click and send or else? 🙂

    Oh and Congratulations again on your
    four years of success and naughtiness 🙂 😉

    Geoff xxx


        1. Good to know…..about the not being pushed out part. What is going on? Are you a spy? Are you in the witness protection program? Send me an email/link when and where you land somewhere. Very mysterious…..very mysterious.


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