Today is my four-year wedding anniversary. Condolences can be sent to my husband at a later date.
Making it through another year of marriage is amazing.
I’m proud to say, I’ve handled my relationship almost completely sober, 100% drug-free and without stuffing my face with Crisco frosted Twinkies.
We’ve had our ups and down. We fight like cats and dogs, but we make up like sex-starved teens with better stamina.
There are some people I’d like to thank who made this union possible. First, I’d like to thank my ex-husband.
If it weren’t for his penis constantly popping out of his pants and going into others, I might still be in an unsatisfying marriage.
Next, I’d like to thank my husband’s ex.
Due to the high probability that we’ll end up as victims on an episode of Snapped, we must be delicate.
Thanks for your “inappropriate” relationships.
After my speech, please remind me to buy a Taser and get a restraining order.
I’m blessed to have a husband who doesn’t mind having a used/pre-owned car.
Yes. I did just say that about myself. BUT…I’ve got plenty of mileage left.
As my hubby says: “We’ll never get a divorce. The sex alone will keep me here.”
He can use this almost 43 year-old with four kids all he wants.
He doesn’t mind if I work outside or inside the home. I don’t mind if he uses neck ties or bungee cords.
It doesn’t get much better than that kids.
I love you Mr. Articles of Absurdity!
Happy No Divorcesary!
(…thanks for loaning me the dress Jodi.)