SO…….Thing 1 (12-years-old) was watching reality television with me last night. It doesn’t seem surprising that reality TV would lend itself to sexual issues, but we weren’t watching Bad Girls or The Bachelor/ette. AND…….Big Brother doesn’t come on for a few more months. I thought I was safe, but clearly, I was wrong. WE WERE… Read More Cooking and singing lead to sex talk.
My first thought is: “Not in a million years!”. Kissing this dude would be like giving oral sex to my dryer’s lint tray. Someone, out there, reading this, knows for sure. AND….some, might be turned on, but I digress. Crazy fetish? My second thought is: “Smashup!” I want to do what Reese’s did for peanut… Read More Are you giving me the pregnant eye?
I’m sorry to overwhelm you with my incessant flashing, but I wrote these a bit back and never posted. Get comfy and prepare yourself to be entertained or bored to death. Either way, you might be at your computer longer than expected. These were submitted to the M3 Flash Challenge (Flash in the Pan) Winter… Read More I can’t stop flashing you.
I met my best friend while putting out a fire, or so I thought. Smoke was coming from my neighbor’s cellar. I ran over and felt the door. It wasn’t hot, so I figured I could handle it and be a hero. Their hose was nearby. I went over, turned it on, threw the door… Read More Flash in the Pan: Happiness
That day will stay in my brain forever. I was outside in the yard helping mom with the garden. I heard this loud backfire, like a gun or something. It made me jump. Then a crazy looking hippy-van pulled up next door. Smoke was coming from the hood and there was music loud enough to… Read More Flash in the Pan: Lonely
Today is my four-year wedding anniversary. Condolences can be sent to my husband at a later date. Making it through another year of marriage is amazing. I’m proud to say, I’ve handled my relationship almost completely sober, 100% drug-free and without stuffing my face with Crisco frosted Twinkies. We’ve had our ups and down. We… Read More Jodie Foster inspired me.
I’m going to let someone else entertain you today. I’d like to breakdown your brain cells by exposing you to my inappropriate friend Stirling and his equally damaged partner in comedy. Wild Mullet Kingdom: Episode 1 “The Capture” (Uncensored)
Articles of Absurdity 