Many moons ago, my son asked if the Easter bunny was real. he said he really, really wanted to know. After telling him no, he said he knew it. After all, a big bunny hopping around bringing baskets is ridiculous.
He got his little sister. They wanted to know if Santa was real. Again, they really wanted to know. I gave a great explanation about the history behind St. Nick and how it all began. They handled it great. They were smiling and engaged.
THEN……..they wanted to know about the tooth fairy and anyone else represented by a Hallmark holiday. I told them all of it was made up.
THEN…..The eyes bulged and the lips quivered.
Their eyes burned through me, for what felt like ten hours (probably 3 seconds), but in kid time, same thing. AND IN NO TIME……..the horror ensued. They began screaming and crying hysterically. They said I lied about Santa. AND……..Why was I tricking them? I think one of their heads spun around.
Quickly, I regrouped and told them they were right. I did lie to them. “Mommy was fooling around and playing a joke”, I said.
My son decided I lied about the bunny too.
I’m sure the event will trigger some degree of PTSD in the future.
THE OTHER DAY: My son asked for help with his language arts homework. He was struggling. I gave him my expertise. He appeared to believe me, then said, “How do I even trust you? You could just be lying to me.”
Clearly, lies are like memory foam……….even the truths, we say are lies. That would be the “double lie” impact.
In the end……….I secured my children’s innocence and their belief in magic, at least for a while.
I also increased the likelihood that they will never believe a word I say.
WELL………at least I know they fit in with all the other children their age, who don’t believe their parents either.
AND…………That’s how it goes when mommy is a big, fat, nasty, f’ing liar!
Articles of Absurdity 
I told my kids from the get go about everything. I also told them it was a secret I was intrusting them with. They were to never tell another living person. And as far as I know they never did. But I did lie to them about the dentist….”its a piece of cake” Liar Liar Pants on FIRE
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What is it with the dentist?
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Pretty sure that no matter what you said, at some point they’d have called you a liar…
Those are no win kind of questions…
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I’m holding on to the “I told you so” moments.
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See, these are the really hard things about being a Mom. The other stuff is easy peasy. If they get sick you give them medicine or take them to the doctor. If they are bad you discipline them. If they are good you reward them. These questions would have me lying awake at night arguing with myself.
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If they are hungry you give them crumbs. If you get sick of them, you leave them on the side of the road….Oh wait! I didn’t mean to show you that list.
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I never told any of that horse hockey to my children. They learned in school, and I told them it was far better to have super parents than make believe people who spend their parents’ money. Then again, I was the three when I told my parents they did not have to keep up the Santa facade. It was easier for me to just ask for what I wanted.
Yes, I have always been a bitch. *grins proudly and curtsies sweetly*
Red.
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Why am I not shocked by any of that? Horse hockey, huh? I never knew I participated in a sport. Pretty cool. Betting allowed?
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Only at OTB. Silly Feds.
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My dead ex husband told my kids. I told them he was evil and didn’t believe in magic. Their other mother told them we were both liars. They were so confused.
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What would have been more confusing…..if he told them after he was dead. Of course, I’d believe him then.
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Jacob was 8 and still believed. We lived in Switzerland at the time, and his teacher commented that he needed a large, expensive, comprehensive dictionary. It arrived just before Christmas. John suggested wrapping it up for Christmas. Well, Christmas morning, Jacob opened that gift and cried out “There’s No Such Thing As Santa. Santa would NEVER have given me a dictionary.”
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Hahaha. That’s funny.
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Hey Pal! Hope you’re doing well.
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Doing better, yes.
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Good. I’ve missed you. And your stuph.
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Thanks. I’m contemplating writing soon. Just have a lot of stuph going on right now that’s more important.
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Take care of business first. Then come on back!
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I will, but I probably won’t write as often as I did. I was neglecting other things to write so often and that’s what got me in trouble.
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Yup, I get that. Or I will as soon as baseball season is over!
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I’m honored that you got a room and used mine. Do I have to disinfect afterwards or is it all good??!!??
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The only dirt is virtual.
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lol
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You can’t argue with that logic!
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Be careful not to go viral. Okay….Was that corny enough?
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Liar, liar pants on fire 🙂 lmao
Never mind Lorre just pop the
kettle on and give me one…
Nooooo I meant a nice
chocolate biscuit, cheeky 🙂
Andro xxx
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Sure you meant biscuit……
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Why off course 🙂 😉
Andro xxx
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