OKAY………So I debated about this post for a bit. Sorry to go all juvenile on you guys, but it must be done. In the past two years, I’ve had to deal with a few people unraveling……….0 to 60 for no clear reason. If I thought my health insurance would cover it, I’d get the magnet removed that causes the attraction. Let me clear things up for several people.
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I am not responsible if your family gets murdered.
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My husband and I are not swingers. BUT…..….If we were, sorry…….You two are not our type.
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I believe people should pay their debts, even if you owe a millionaire money.
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It’s poor form to grab my husband’s crotch and act like it was an accident.
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Stealing someone’s property is ILLEGAL!
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I exercise to stay in shape, not to piss you off.
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Sending my hubby messages via Facebook and/or phone is unwise.
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Make no mistake, my husband is on my side.
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I heard you did me a favor by being my friend. Gee……Thanks!
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Not everything is about you.
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I’ve only posted about one (the Despicable One). Up until this post, you’ve just been feeding into your own paranoia.
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No one gets to mess with my kids without some backlash.
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I don’t care how drunk someone is. I don’t like people grabbing my breasts.
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Coming into my home and being mean to my friends, is beyond uncool.
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Before you start calling people names, you should really look up the definitions of the words you use.
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My kids can hear their sailor talk from me, but thanks for the free language arts lesson.
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Your world is very small, but mine isn’t.
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I love drama, but only on the stage.
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Heavy drinking is not my idea of socializing. I have a life and a liver to protect.
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My husband’s tolerance of your disrespect for him, doesn’t make him a wimp…….it makes him a gentleman.
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It’s okay to close the bridge without feeling like you have to set it on fire.
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We share a different idea of success and a different set of values.
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Most of the problems we’ve had……….are all in your head.
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We will never be friends again, but I wish you the best………because that’s how I roll!
Articles of Absurdity 
Sounds like you need to find a new set of friends. Good luck with it.
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Thankfully, I have a great set of friends. Those are the ones that latched on unexpectedly until I could shake them off. No worries now!
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Good 🙂
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Thank you for saying that. I agree. I may openly plagiarize and present this list as my own. Thank you for being brilliant. (And there is nothing wrong with getting new friends when the old ones wear out)
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It’s sad, that at this age, there is still drama with some people. I’m hoping my radar for such things will improve.
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I”m sure your radar WILL improve…cool things like that happen as we age. HOWEVER…the drama will also change, and until you experience it..chances are good your radar won’t know it look out for it
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Damn.
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Hopefully this nut-bar will recognize herself this time accurately and be shamed into disappearing from your life. Unfortunately, people like her rarely see themselves for what they are.
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Sooooo true. This posting is about a few nut-bars. Some disappearing has happened, but I’m praying for that with the others.
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Kudos, Lorre! In jest or not, such stuff should be boldly stated. Honesty is the best policy and of course, –as usual, morons, offenders and guilty derelicts won’t see themselves or take advice anyway, so whack’em and stack’em as you see fit after returning the favour. “:) Nut-bars don’t admit responsibility but do have an insatiable proclivity for grabbing crotches, feeling breasts and other assorted parts, so it is an ongoing problem. Give’em the finger at will. “:)
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LMAO. I wish this list was in jest, but it isn’t. I think these crazies should be officially diagnosed with a disorder. I agree on the no responsibility thing. They think they are flawless.
Here’s me giving them the finger. Can you see it?
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I really like the one about closing the bridge without setting it on fire. Need to do that in my own life, even though I feel like blowing the bridge to smithereens.
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It seems that some people can’t take a hint. Explosives may be needed on your end.
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Oh I see, it’s an epidemic and it’s spreading. I thought they were only attracted to me!
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No. It’s pretty bad. We should look into get a vaccine.
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I love the last line. Truly awesome if I’m ever in that situation I would totally love to use it. That burning down the bridge one is pretty awesome too. I love the way you roll!
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Thanks!
I hope you aren’t, but use….use away. AND….I promise not to roll over you.
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Ohhhhhh snap! No you didn’t just get all up in that ass! The fact that you can be so incredibly adult about some one grabbing your mans private or your Girls is amazing! You the man kid! love this site! And thats how I roll
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I am amazingly calm in those situations, which should make people very nervous. Sometimes, I do feel like The Man. Thanks. Love the way you roll.
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