Engaged in foreplay and I had no clue.

OMG! This is an awkward follow-up to my earlier posting Outsourcing scams to India: Would they sound sweeter with Bollywood Music?   Read First!!!!

NOW…….There was not supposed to be a follow-up, but those mothers called me back again. They are relentless. I could have just hung up, but I wanted to ask them some more questions to frustrate them. SO……..The call was very similar to the first one in the beginning.

WARNING…….It ain’t pretty and it ain’t censored.

The conversation was like the other one until everything I said was met with:

Scammer: Just go to your computer ma’am and I will fix it.

Lorre: Your customer service sucks. You keep telling me what to do, but you won’t answer any of my questions. I’m not going to sit at my computer and do anything until you tell me what is wrong and what will happen if I don’t fix it.

Scammer: Ma’am, hold on. I get my super. Hold on.

Scammer Boss: Ma’am. Your computer has been sending us errors messages. Just sit at your computer and do what we tell you.

Lorre: Your customer service is crap too. Stop telling me what I should do and answer my questions.  How long has my computer been sending you these messages?

(after several times of rephrasing the same question…this is what I got in return)

Scammer Boss: Since you bought it.

Lorre: Since I bought it?

Scammer Boss: Yes.

Lorre: Well, I don’t need you to fix it then. I’ll just return it. I should just return it right?

Scammer Boss: Yes.

Lorre: Okay. So I will return it. What is the name of your company so I can tell them who said my computer was malfunctioning?

Scammer Boss: Ma’am. Just return it and when you get a new one, we’ll call back for your computer problem.

Lorre: But if I get a new one, why will I have a problem? So what is the name of your company again?

Scammer Boss: Okay. Don’t return it. We fix it.

Lorre: Okay. You want me to give you access to my computer and then you will fix it.

Scammer Boss: No. We will not have access.

Lorre: So….I’m not going to put in some commands and then you will have control of my computer and be able to download things.

Scammer Boss: Well yes we will. We will have a Microsoft technician go in and fix it.

Lorre: First of all. No! You aren’t from Microsoft and I’m not letting you in my computer so you can put malware on it, viruses or get my personal info. I’m not a dumbass.

Scammer Boss: Ma’am this is very important. You need to sit down to your computer and listen. This problem is very serious. Now go sit at your computer!

Lorre: I know this is a scam and again….take me off your damn list. This is the second call today.

Scammer Boss: This is an important call about your computer. Just sit down so we tell you the problem!

Lorre: I already wrote about you on the internet once today. I guess I’ll have to do it again.

(Then he said something I couldn’t understand.)

Lorre: Excuse me.

Scammer Boss: I fuck you.

Lorre: What!?!

Scammer Boss: I fuck you. I fuck you tonight.

Lorre: You sick mother fucker! My husband would blow your fucking head off.

Scammer Boss: Oh yeah, well I fuck you. I fuck you.

Lorre: You wish you sick son of a bitch! You’d be fucking dead! (He is saying something, but I’m yelling over him.) You pathetic piece of shit with your crappy ass job! Con artist! Great fucking career choice dumbass. Go fuck yourself tonight you goddamn loser!

HANG UP!!!!!

Wow…..I don’t know about you, but someone needs a cold shower!

13 thoughts on “Engaged in foreplay and I had no clue.

    1. I understand following a script, but these guys were ridiculous. AND…They sure don’t understand NO or Take me off your list. That guy is lucky we weren’t face to face. I went a bit crazy when he said that to me.
      I think my husband will be taking these calls from now on. I don’t see them stopping anytime soon.


  1. That’s abut the most unusual customer service call I’ve ever heard of.
    Well,one of them anyway…

    If it’s something a computer tech can walk you through, email the problem, and I’ll see if I can’t write up the steps to fix it for you.
    No, I won’t be asking for access to your machine.


    1. I appreciate the offer….BUT…..There is no problem. They just need you to think there is one.

      I imagine a few people sitting in an almost vacant room with a laptop and a phone. They get your info from somewhere, because they told me my address when asked. (In retrospect: Maybe I shouldn’t have challenged him, but I’m pretty sure he was calling from India.)

      They call and hope some loser really thinks their computer is sending error messages and then, will grant remote access to them: “Microsoft (bullshit) strangers”. Once they are in, they fuck up your system, get you to buy software you don’t need and then….have a way in to get anything else they want. It’s been an ongoing scam for years…all over the world.


  2. Thankfully, this hasn’t happened to me yet.

    I have a friend who got a call like this and he recorded the call and asked the guy about 20 random questions. Totally flipped the tables on him and went on and on for about 15 minutes before the guy on the other line (and it was from India) started to realize his call time productivity was busted for the night. Dude totally panicked and hung up on my friend.

    I just can’t believe the total lack of scruples on the part of some human beings.


  3. Obviously a pent up pervert…
    Those creepos are everywhere
    these days Lorre… Glad you
    told the Asshole where to go 🙂

    I hope you are having a good
    start to your week my great friend 🙂

    Androgoth XXx


    1. They have called 2x since….I guess I just keep them coming back for more.
      Thanks for stopping by since I seem to be slack (again…) in that department.


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