I don’t know people. It’s a close one.
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Hey Ladies: Did you know that you can do more with cucumbers than……Ummmm…….make a salad? It’s true. With the help of my wise friends, Mr. and Mrs. Trapped Wolf, I have made pickles (dill, sweet, sandwich). AND…..Since no one has lived long enough to know how long canned pickles last, it looks like if I ever run out of batteries…..I mean condoms…..I mean CONDIMENTS…..then, I’m at least covered in with pickles.
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The Cute One has found a new fort and NO ONE is allowed to invade his domain.
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The Things are home for the summer. Let’s hope for the best.
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Thing 3 hung up on her dad yesterday. I asked her why. She said she got mad at him because he heard me talking in the background and shouted at her: “What’s your mom running her mouth about now?”………WELL……I’m glad she took a stand. I called him back and let him know I was running my mouth to her about him: “Would your Dad like me to drop you off at his house?”………What an ass!……I told my daughter that happy people don’t say things like that. NOW…..She still likes her dad, but feels a bit sorry for him because he may not be so happy.
Articles of Absurdity 
You know, it’s kind f hard to proclaim vegetal innocence when you tag the post with “cucumbers and sex”.
And go Thing 3!
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Political responses:
I admit to nothing.
No comment.
I did not have an inappropriate relationship with that cucumber. (thanks Clinton)
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I am in awe of how you handled the “ass” situation. “Happy people don’t say things like that”. Poor “ass”.
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With them, especially the girl, I think simplicity is best. Unhappy was the best way I could spin what I really wanted to say. “Oh honey. Your dad is just a miserable asshole, who has been and will always be a prick!”
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Honestly. You should be a psychologist/comedienne. You would be filthy rich. LMAO Thanks the giggles. And the wisdom xo
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Wouldn’t that be a great career!
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I wonder where Thing 3 got that attitude?
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Now that….is a mystery. Clearly, she did not inherit my calm and sweet demeanor.
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Obviously.
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What color paint is drying? Just so I understand the choices …
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As usual, I f*cked something up. Choices? I forgot the choices!
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You can blame that on your ex-husband too.
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He is such a victim already. I wouldn’t want to burden him.
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“What an ass” is the understatement of the year. Any “ex ” that makes negative comments to offspring children, using them as pawns , is the worst MORON possible. No wonder you moved on to cucumbers. You certainly deserve better. “:)
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I moved on to cucumbers just to twist the knife in…If I was being fair to him….I would have moved on to cocktail sausages. At least he would stand a “little” chance in the ego department.
Oh my……Was I being bitchy?
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Only to the sausages. At least they have taste.
Red.
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ROTFF and LMFAO…..With both of those, I’ve just had quite the workout. Wait! My ass is still the same size. Damn….let me get back to ROTFF and trying to LMFAO a bit more.
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How did the pickles turn out? I love certain pickles, and hate others… probably even more than I should because of the ones I love. I want to try making them, but I’m afraid of hating them and having jars of stuff I hate. Haha, I suppose I could give them away as… ummm… gifts.
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The sweet pickles are still sunning, but the dill pickles are far better than the store ones.
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What an Azzhat
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I’ll second that.
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Vegetables have it tough.Brilliant!
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Are thoselarge carrots you’re teasing me with or are you happy to see me?
Your profile pic is so fitting right now.
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The carrots are enlarged but rest assured i am always pleased to see you!
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(:
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