I missed the last Friday Frenzy because I am a pathetic slackass!
- I’ve decided I’m a freaking genius. I’ve learned how to save money, prevent diseases and embarrass my kids at the same time. It’s a triple win folks! AND…..In case you’re wondering, I don’t mean by telling my kids about grownups kissing and wrestling naked. I said embarrass, not damage psychologically. Although, it would save future money and prevent disease. HMMMMMMMMMM……………..This is the boring story: When the bathroom hand towel started to resemble a petri dish, I decided to buy a commercial hand towel dispenser. No more surprises on my towel. Thing 2 had no issue with the tissue, until we went to a local Mexican restaurant. Thing 2 went to the bathroom and returned with a look of doom. He said we embarrassed him. WHY? We have the same towel dispenser as the restaurant bathroom. Since I love to torment the Things, I replaced our old toilet tissue holder with a commercial one. I had to buy coreless tissue for the contraption. I bought 36 rolls, which weighed in at 30lbs. One roll of our previous toilet tissue lasted about 3 days in this house. A new roll………about 10-12 days.
- And the new stuff goes so well with my sign on the door.
- Lady Foot Locker sucks big time. I had to order a pair of shoes from them because the store in my area didn’t carry my size. One week later, I get a letter stating that no Lady Foot Locker in existence has the shoe I selected in my size. WTF!……I’m not Big Foot people and I’m not a tiny person from The Borrowers. Size 9! You’d think I asked for plutonium. Homeland security is going to be disappointed when they pop over to this blog.
- My Marital Hiccup (ex), told the kids he wasn’t going to pick up the phone if it was from my house or my cell. I asked why. Apparently, he was on the phone with his new girlfriend, he clicked over to answer my call and hung up on her. It was an accident, but I guess she thought he had his priorities out of whack. So…….he got mad at me. I didn’t realize I was responsible for his inability to use call waiting. My bad! I’m so glad I don’t have the hiccups anymore.
- SO…….I may have mentioned (sometime back) that my friends, Mr. and Mrs. Trapped Wolf are trying to teach me about canning. Here is what I have learned so far: Canning bushels of peas is easy. Taking them out of their pods is a bitch. I got pea lash on my fingertips.
- My Cowboy finally got his money. That’s all I’m gonna say about that nonsense.
- Wish me luck. I am working on a writing project. The good news is: It’s pretty much all written. The bad news: It’s all on paper and I have to put it into the computer. KILL ME NOW!……………….YES……………..I’m an idiot.
Articles of Absurdity 
I, too, think you are a genius, perhaps unrecognized to date because of your preoccupation with commercial-sized rolls of paper you write major projects upon, and your marginal propensity to do fun things with adult toys, even if size nines are not always available. “:)
No wonder you need a pea sheller, it could be handy.”:))
LikeLike
That is why I bought the toilet tissue. Afterall, if it is crap….then it’s right where it belongs and I can flush it down the toilet. I thought I was clever, but you saw through my “shoe”. Is a 9 really too much to ask for guys?!! Not many fans when it comes to having your peas shelled.
LikeLike
Lorre, somehow I don’t think anything you write is crap-you’re much more clever and insightful than you appear to wish to be perceived. There are a lot of things that are ‘too much to ask for’, but 9 is not one of them. Sounds like you need a good old-fashioned pea-sheller.., the best kind “:))
LikeLike
A pea sheller would’ve been nice.
I appreciate the words. Although, I don’t really think what I write is crap….There are so many amazing writers (all genres/types) out in the world. I think if I don’t do something more significant with my writing soon, I might need to just put it on the back burner and call it a hobby like anything else.
LikeLike
From what you’ve described, I don’t think you missed last Fridays mayhem. I think you’ve spread it over the whole week.
If you need help entering your writing, you can just emai- Oh. Never mind.
hehehe
LikeLike
I need a secretary or two.
LikeLike
You need a team of slaves to help
out… Unpaid slaves of course 🙂 😉 lol
Androgoth XXx
LikeLike
Hmmmm? What is the uniform? Or….is there one?
Okay…..You are totally making me not focus. Damn you.
LikeLike
You should add this to your Bogroll!
LikeLike
Surely you jest!
LikeLike
Sorry, I couldn’t resist the pun!
LikeLike
So punny you are.
LikeLike
This is why I do not shop at stores with “Lady” in their name, they always suck. Yes it is to much to ask, you have learned.
Now you know, you will always and forever be responsible and accountable for any failures on the part of the ex. That is the rule. That is why I happily refer to mine as the dead-x.
My greatest joy in life is reminding my Things their mother(s) and step-father(s) still do it regularly and with great joy. It makes my Things turn funny shades of violet, puce and chartreuse.
I think your Friday Frenzy hit it just perfectly!
LikeLike
My first clue should have been: Who am I to shop at a store with the name Lady in it? I tell you though…..at least at my store…..totally useless with assisting customers and doing math, on the register no less.
It’s funny how it’s selective. My ex blames me, but I don’t blame him and my hubby’s ex blames him for everything, but he doesn’t blame her. The good news is: I’m with someone who takes responsibility for themselves.
I’m not ready for that convo yet…..too many questions. I guess it will be soon though.
Thanks.
LikeLike
mine are in their thirties, I am a grandmother it still causes them to choke on their coffee! It is fun to mention at inconvenient times 😉
LikeLike
I’m sure I will do that later. I do like to humilate them….out of love of course.
LikeLike
some funny shit Lorre. continue…
LikeLike
I have my moments. I didn’t think this post was one of them, but I do appreciate your kind words…..as usual.
LikeLike
I haven’t thought of “The Borrowers” in years. They were one of my favourite reads when I was younger. I’m a 10 and it doesn’t matter if they have the word “Lady” in the name at all. To prevent me getting my hopes up I just say show me what you DO have in a 10.
Glad Cowboy got his cash.
Your Ex sounds more of a belch than a hiccup. 😉
Good luck with the project.
LikeLike
I think I’ll try that next time I get shoes. Someone told me that size 9 is the new 7….I guess they are right.
Yes, it’s nice to have what is ours.
I like the belch. I think you pegged that just right.
Thanks.
LikeLike
You need a man slave to help out with the peas and while you are at it (nooooo not that :)) why not develop a new way of peeling every vegetable ready for this, that and the other (even in the canning department if you are so inclined ;)) Okay so as this is all about your ‘Friday Frenzy’ does this mean that I can waffle on about absolutely anything, or does it have to be about what theme choice you have posted? 🙂
Of course I could write a two thousand word comment to this one as I am an expert on the art of wittering, but seeing as you are probably pushed for time, being that you are now in the advertising zone of wickedness and wanting lots of extras, pennies and whatever I will keep it short just for you 🙂 Hold on a minute here… Now what the hell was I talking about? 😉 lol Okay I need to read your posting again, yes I could just scroll up and have a shuftie but nooooo, and besides if I were to do that then this comment will be longer than your average banana, I mean your average carrot, I mean…
Well it’s your fault for canning so many different vegetables, it brings lots of naughty ideas to your readers thoughts so watch it in any future postings on the subject or else? 🙂 Actually I have enjoyed reading your posts today, well I always do you know? 🙂 Okay I am out of here so go and pour yourself a nice cup of coffee, I mean after reading this claptrap you deserve one 🙂 Have a lovely morning, a wicked afternoon and an exquisitely naughty evening Lorre 😉
Androgoth XXx
LikeLike
Comments of any kind, theme or otherwise….are always welcome. As long as I can understand them of course.
I enjoy your comments because they are always entertaining, naughty and make me smile….sometimes laugh out loud.
Money would be nice. I figure….if I’m going to blog, I might try to see if some coins can roll in for me. I’m certainly not expecting much, but something is better than nothing. Well…….for the most part
I’m sure you’ll enjoy hearing about cucumbers when I start canning those. Start preparing your commentary now.
LikeLike
I can comment on absolutely everything me you know, and being that cucumbers are said to be a girls best friend out in the sticks (No idea where or who said that but it is a valid statement and they don’t even require batteries… Hey that’s not me saying it, that was in the quote I mentioned 🙂 lmao)
Actually I am pleased that you like some of my comments, some peeps don’t see the funny aspect of it and a few times I have been slated for being a bit wicked… But it is all just innuendo and a bit of fun, nothing is meant in the literal sense and I know that you already know that… so phew, I am pleased 🙂
Have a fun rest of morning, a ghoulishly fine afternoon and as for the evening, well you decide 🙂 😉
Androgoth XXx
LikeLike
I know who said it and where they live, but I’m not a liberty to say. You understand.
If they don’t see the funny, it’s because the stick of their ass is inhibiting their ability to move, which means no belly laughing, no ability to speak, (let alone laugh) and facial paralysis…so no smiling.
LikeLike
Love it.
Funny.
They suck…a lot.
After you, he lacks the capacity to think.
Damn, that hurts.
Sweet.
I am waiting!
Red.
LikeLike
It is going to make me longer than I imagined. It’s amazing how much attention people need when you aren’t giving them any. Sorted them all and began typing some. Something is better than nothing.
I have to post the latest….talking about not being able to think.
LikeLike