Don’t read this blog. I don’t deserve your time
I’ve become quite lazy and can’t seem to give up mine.
Have I read anyone else or commented at all?
Hell no. I’m a selfish bitch and that’s not all.
I’ve received a few awards from lovely bloggers.
I haven’t followed through. I’m an award hogger.
Worse than that, I’m a hoarder of blogger stuff.
Everyone I follow is in Google Reader. It’s piling up.
If Google collapses, you can blame that on me.
I’m sure Occupy is my fault too and maybe some STDs.
I truly am sorry I’ve become such a fucking lazy ass.
Buying this car, but I can’t put in the gas.
I promise to visit when I am willing and able.
When I’m done being a jackass, if we must give it a label.
Scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours.
This has been proven false. I’m a bad blog whore.
Whores get around and I can’t even manage to tease
I’ll spread my blog legs soon and get back to spreading comment disease.
Articles of Absurdity 
Heheheh, at least you make it fun.
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Thanks.
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As your new life coach and amateur psychiatrist, I am telling you that the only way to help yourself, now that you have admitted that you do have a problem, is to go immediately to my blog and read the whole thing, leaving a comment at each post. Start at the end of last year and work forward. I tell you this only because I care. And because I am charging you per hour on the therapy.
You are welcome.
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I did….I was able to get through one and comment. Hey…I have to get through at least one of everyone’s to be fair.
For the therapy: I’ll write you a check and drop it off. I hope you can catch it as it bounces away.
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This is all about your mental health. Don’t make it about me. Just read one a day, and the therapy will still work.
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Free of charge I hope.
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I was kidding about the fee. You do not have to pay me to read my blog. Just knowing I am helping you is reward enough.
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Just want to tell you I did not read it…slowly, I cheated and read it fast.
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Thanks for being honest. It hurts so much less.
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oh, heck Stevesw beat me to it, but Lorre, you can redeem yourself if you get reading immediately, bad girl, and don’t forget to add a comment on each post without fail. If you want to earn double points, add two comments on each one. Your failure to read my blog suggests you are a very naughty girl. “:)
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I did one on one….Does that count?
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Too funny . . . 🙂
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Thanks Sunshine.
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Great. I love it.
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Darn…I wanted everyone to like it but you. Failure is a bitch.
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[…] Articles of Absurdity […]
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Nice & funny! But I am really sorry, I read this blog. 🙂
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There is no cure.
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Cute!
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Thanks. I’m glad you liked it.
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Brilliant. Negative psychology always works on me. Don’t automatically becomes do in my brain.
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Hey…it works on kids too.
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Hehe Of course I had to read the post after I saw the title! We understand days get busy, visit when you have the time, don’t put extra pressure on yourself 🙂
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Thanks. Buried in the guilt..I need to read….read…read…read….
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You knew I was lurking in the shadows waiting to pounce on your new post. Glad I came away with something Ajax won’t wash off.
Red.
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That’s sounds like a gross compliment….and I like it.
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Sorry, I couldn’t help but ignore your headline/instruction. It’s who I am. I WILL not be told. Especially if I sense by going forward I will get a laugh or something else fun.
Thank you for another opportunity to express my anti-authoritarian nature.
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It really was my pleasure. I’m glad I could be of service to help you exploit…I mean express yourself.
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Yes you told us not to read it but hey did you really expect me of all Vampires not to read it? Noooo I didn’t think so and besides I call in here when I want and ghoulishly enjoy it so how about that for being daringly blunt? 🙂 Actually I quite like your take on skiving, but you are welcome to call by whenever you feel like it, well not that but the other, no not that either but whenever you are wanting some, oh hell you know what I mean? 😉 lol In other words just call round when you can and that is good enough for me Lorre 🙂
Androgoth XXx
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LMAO….I tried to go on your blog a couple of times yesterday, but the kids would hover around right when I was ready to hit “Enter”. Maybe I’ll have better luck today.
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Don’t worry Lorre anytime that you have the opportunity to call by is absolutely fine by me my wickedly nice friend 🙂 Have a wonderful weekend 🙂
Androgoth XXx
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Eh, I just read the blogs I like, whether they come to mine or not.
(that includes yours).
And every so often, I’m guilty of mass deletions of all but a few.
As you long as you enjoy reading what you manage to get to, have at it, and have fun!
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Mass deletions? Is that like mass destruction or mass suicide? It sounds scary and I don’t want to mess with you. I’ll be rolling around shortly so you don’t “mass” something or other with me.
Yeah…I do my best, but I still feel bad. Does that make me a good person?….Yeah…I didn’t think so.
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lorre, i tried not to read, tried not to comment…couldn’t — you’ll just have to keep feeling guilty. 🙂 sorry. continue…
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…and I will. I really will.
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everything you write is worth reading and so your time is as valuable as well….
David in Maine USA
we’re a community!
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I guess as long as you didn’t say commune….then I’m on board.
Thanks.
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Stay onboard, you’re very creative
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I fear you may be brilliant in a super-villianess sort of way!
You KNEW people couldn’t resist that title, right?
Good for you!
Super villianesses are hot – especially when they’re devious too!
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You caught me. I use that kind of crap with everything.
Example:
You know you don’t want to have sex. (Actually…I could say chili dog and I could still get some. Most women could.)
You don’t want to get married. (Got married.)
You don’t know how to wash dishes. (Only worked 2x)
Don’t have kids. (My dad said this. I had 3 and now realize that he probably was giving me sound advice.)
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Tough….reading anyway.
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Yes ma’am.
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Love the poem, Lorre.
I know you’re putting some truth in it, of course. Don’t beat yourself up. I look at that damn Google reader – damn you, Google reader! – and those little numbers pile up by the side of each blog I SHOULD be reading and commenting on. It gets overwhelming. And then little things like the wife saying “Why are you blogging ALL the time.” Well that might not be a direct quote, but YKWIM!
You can only do what you can do, and then just let it go. Okay, I can’t let it go, but everyone else should!
I digress. Have a great day. Glad I stopped by, even though I hadn’t in a while.
Now I can see at least one of those little numbers in Google reader drop down. Damn you, Google reader!! 🙂
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Hey…you are certainly doing more than I am. I am getting a lot accomplished in the “real” world. I’m just way behind in Bloggerville.
I still am glad you brought Google Reader to my attention, otherwise my email account would be out of control.
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Been wondering where you been…Pretty clever and pretty funny.
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Shockingly busy with family and stuff….wither my life got busier or I finally decided to join it in progress…..maybe both.
Thanks. I need to hop over to your site.
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hey it’s nearly Easter Bunny time so I hope that you are being creative enough and I don’t mean on canvas either, well it could be on canvas but I can think of better locations 🙂 😉 How do you mean what the hell am I talking about? 🙂 lol Well you know… Easter Eggs and Bunnies of course 🙂 Have a lovely Easter Lorre and don’t be good I never am 😉 lol
Androgoth XXx
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I love the way you have the conversation for us. It does make things so much easier and interesting. Easter is certainly on our minds, especially with the four kids and soon, they’ll be home 11 days. I’ll need more drinks for that.
Happy Easter to you and I can’t wait to see if you came up with something wicked for Easter or just wicked in general.
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