Turning the Corner


You heard it here first. I’m not making enough money at my current corner. I don’t know if it’s because I’m smack dab in the middle of a wretched economic time, or that I strap my baby to my back when I’m trolling. You know, if you visited here, you’d realize that the baby on the back is not an issue. I guess it’s the economy. I will say though, it probably doesn’t help that I have all of my teeth, and replaced the bad ones with some really nice dental work. I think I come off as too high-class. The showering everyday should stop too. I’ll never make any money by shutting out the down trodden.

BUT REALLY………..I’m turning the corner from 41 years old to 42 years old in 5 hours. And, like most women my age, I hate getting appliances and home gadgets that say you are just a maid or a cook. This year, my gifts include an elliptical, some supplements (courtesy of Dr. Oz’s insight) to bring my metabolism back to my 30’s and a new scale, with BMI, % of water and a daily caloric intake counter for meeting your goals. Yes indeed! Nothing says your valued like a birthday full of “get back in shape bitch” kind of presents. I’m pretty pleased though. At least that means he still sees hope for us. If I got a bunch of Martha Stewart kind of crap then that means I’ve become his mommy and that’s just gross.

Note: These gifts were approved ahead of time! I don’t want to be a grown man’s mommy or the wife whose only claim to fame is…..”She’s a really good homemaker.” My goal is to become the wife who doesn’t do shit around the house, but looks damn hot! Who is with me on this ladies??!!??

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27 thoughts on “Turning the Corner

  1. I think your gifts rock! You have to be feeling pretty good about now as I remember not long ago, you were not pleased with your inactivity and the results thereof. So you go girl. Sizzle, sizzle! 42 is the new 30! Almost happy birthday sweets! Margie

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  2. Happy Birthday – you are more than a decade behind me, you have work to do if you want to get to the decadent point of doing nothing!

    Good for you for picking / approving gifts ahead of time. I still don’t do this and sometimes my love fails miserably, poor thing.

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    1. It works because they end up being gifts for both of us and my husband……He is a terrible gift giver. Sadly, I think he is still conditioned, in a hostage sort of way, to his ex. She loved gift cards to mom type clothing stores and tasteless jewelry. I need to speak up, unless I want some of that crap.

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      1. In the early days of my marriage, before I explained things properly my best loved once gave me one of those huge make-up sets. He got sucked in by some sales person in some high end store that “I would love it”. He told me later that he told the silly woman I don’t wear make-up which made her more insistent I would love it and he should tell me to bring the set to the store and to her for instruction on how to use it.

        My husband is 19 years younger than me. I am sure she was thinking I was some dumbazzed 20 year old who didn’t know how to apply make-up. So I showed up with, with the $75 set, my perm eyeliner, my fairly perfect skin, my long eyelashes that don’t really need help (unless I am going out at night) and explained – I don’t wear make-up because I don’t need it.

        Poor thing (her not him). Now well he has gotten better. He thinks I am hard to buy for because generally he isn’t allowed to buy me clothes or jewelry (his taste and mine are very different). But he tries hard and for the most part I give very firm hints.

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  3. Happy Birthday!
    I have to say that my husband isn’t that bad of a gift giver. That being said he surprised me a couple of time with gifts that got this response, “What were you thinking?” .
    In both instances I was so upset that the gifts ended up staying in their boxes for a couple of months after my birthday. One had to be installed, the other I had to learn how to use. I am here to tell you that both those gifts turned out to be favourites. Now more than 10 years after receiving them I can’t imagine life without them and I have come to depend on them. I always say that if anyone tried to take them away from me I would fight them! Go figure…

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  4. Happy birthday, chick! As Bear (and my maid) will attest, the only thing domestic about me is I was born in this country. Appliances or anything remotely related to improvement, which I did not order in advance, is strictly forbidden under penalty of celibacy and thrashing…not spanking, mind you, thrashing.

    Hope it has been a great one 😉
    Red.

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  5. I knew that you would have lots of fun on your birthday Lorre and what excellent gifts, I bet the one’s that you didn’t mention were really wicked too but that is your little secret 🙂 😉 Just forty two and looking great 🙂 Be good tonight or else? 😉 lol

    Androgoth XXx

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    1. Or am I?………..Hmmmm

      It’s all about location. I have no plans of moving because I think I have at least 20 more years of staying a 7 or above in this town. Once you go below the 7…it’s time to relocate to more ugly/uneducated zones.

      Thanks for the complaint…I mean compliment.

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