I can’t resist. I heard some people talking about the magic and mystery of conception. Now…I’m not going to get into a religious, spiritual or physiological discussion here. I do have some theories though. Bear with me. This can get complicated.
How did this happen? Someone:
- fucked
- got laid
- copulated
- had sexual intercourse
- screwed
- shagged
- made love
The true mystery is not how this happened, but why this happened.
Why did this happen?
- Too embarrassed to buy condoms.
- Took your pill, but thought that meant vitamins or Ecstasy.
- For a moment, you thought having a kid in highschool would be cool, like having a miniature dog in your purse.
- Hell….you can’t even remember who.
- Because __(fill in drink of choice)__
- Someone double dogged dared you
- You wanted kids. BORING!
- Tax deduction. SMART!
- Child Labor at Home. SMARTER!
- To save a relationship. With kids? Wow, did you take a wrong turn.
- You weren’t thinking.
- Your religion tells you to procreate….a lot. This is great for you, because you also say God will provide. I don’t have sex to procreate, I guess that’s why my husband has to work.
- Someone said you’d make a crappy parent. Proving em’ wrong are we? How’s that working out?
- Everyone else was doing it.
I hope I was able to shed some light on some of the mystery, at least for one person out there. I can’t promise great, life-changing or factual results, but I’ll be happy to help with any further mysteries you bring to my attention.
Just in case: This is for humor purposes only and not intended to hurt anyone.
Articles of Absurdity 
Yes,,a mystery indeed!
..and what’s with ‘trying to get pregnant’?
LOL
oh i know some peopl e have problems.
LikeLike
I know. I’ve been one of them. Now I have three problems and a step-problem. Ha, ha…..
LikeLike
Lorrelee, why some people ever have children is a mystery to me. always has been, always will be. and i really worry about anyone who would find this post an “issue”. continue…
LikeLike
There are many people, who truly should not be parents.
I hope no one does, but you never know. I don’t want anyone to think I’m making light of their situation.
LikeLike
Not planning to have kids, but still practicing in case we decide to.
and love the disclaimer at the end.
LikeLike
Practice is such a good idea. Not all, but some have to give up sex once they have kids. You at least want to have a lot of practice in before that happens. Those poor first timers. They really got screwed. No pun intended.
LikeLike
Some should give it up before they have children.
Red.
LikeLike
I’m clear now.
The new method for educating on sex. With a punch.
LikeLike
I doubt this would be approved in the school system though.
LikeLike
Haha, there’s another one…. I thought condoms weren’t cool because the school was handing them out.
LikeLike
Our schools would never do that. Are there schools out there that can?
LikeLike
*chuckle* Nice one…
LikeLike
Thanks Rose. Thanks for coming by.
LikeLike
Mystery unraveled, thanks! 😉
Great one!
LikeLike
Thanks. Maybe I’ll try to unravel the JFK mess next.
LikeLike
Damn. I didn’t realize sex was involved. I, personally went to Chile. No sex was involved.
LikeLike
It saves a lot of complications when you do that. I’m glad you didn’t say Chilies, because I didn’t think you could order that off the menu.
LikeLike
It probably depends on what part of town the Chiles is located in!
LikeLike
You make a good point!
LikeLike
You can, but they do not honor the “satisfaction guaranteed or your money back” like they do with shrimp and steak.
Red.
LikeLike
LMAO. I might have to question what goes into any cream sauce as well.
LikeLike
I agree with many others here. This really does clear things up. My father in law was asking me about this just the other day. I think I will print this and give it to him.
LikeLike
Glad I could help.
LikeLike
Another one: You didn’t think you could get pregnant. After all, you didn’t get pregnant last time.
LikeLike
Good addition to the list.
LikeLike
It took me the longest time to get past the first multiple-choice question.
LikeLike
LOL! Love this 🙂
By the way you’ve been tagged! See for yourself: http://evilnymphstuff.wordpress.com/2012/03/01/to-be-or-not-to-be-tagged-crazy-game-going-around-wordpress/
LikeLike
Sounds good. I’ll check it out.
LikeLike
I think I was a tax deduction baby. Or a child labor at home baby. Or hell, both. Either way, my parents are brilliant.
LikeLike
Sounds like it. Killing two birds with one stone is the way to go.
LikeLike
I seriously think you could get a job teaching sex ed. Delightfully entertaining and enlightening.
LikeLike
I’m not sure if I would help or hurt, but I guess it couldn’t be any worse than what they aren’t teaching kids.
LikeLike
OMFDoubledOverG You are so screaming funny, Lorrelee, thanks for the laughs, I so needed your linguistic tonic 🙂 xo
LikeLike
I’m glad you read this. I know you are single and I don’t want you to be misinformed on this serious subject matter.
Glad you got a kick out of it and I’m glad I finally got around to reading your page. Where does the time go?
LikeLike