BUT…..Let’s face it. It is. I can put a dress on a duck and it’s still a duck. It may be a really fucked up looking duck and you will wonder why the hell it has a dress on, but nonetheless, it’s still a duck. SO……Today is Tuesday on my calendar, but to others it is the magical and sometimes despised holiday known as Valentine’s Day. Yeah…..
- For a secret love, today might be a great day to express it. Expressing your deep love and admiration every day could appear romantic, but more than likely, it will appear creepy and questionable. Of course, there may be a really good reason to keep it a secret: they’re married, you’re a sociopath, you’re related to them or you look like Quasimodo. Now, I’m not judging. There’s nothing wrong with a correctly placed hump.
- For a new love of a year or less and definitely before marriage, this holiday is a chance to still seem worth keeping. The typical card with chocolate, flowers and perhaps a dinner date shows that you can follow a simple game plan. That means, you are trainable and therefore, a possible keeper. BUT…….If you are doing dinner without a reservation on this day, then be ready to wait for hours, giving your intended love plenty of time to realize they weren’t that important and that’s the shit they will have to deal with for the rest of their lives.
- For a love that is going on several years or into marriage, well you’re lucky. You don’t have to do a damn thing more than you’ve done all along, even if that’s nothing. Your mate has either accepted the love you do give and they’re okay with it or they have settled for less than and don’t seem to mind that either. Sometimes you get tired and you just need a place to sit and rest your legs. The heart is no different. NOW……That doesn’t mean they won’t bitch about your lack of effort to their friends, because they will. They’ll admit they told you not to do anything, but later will be pissed as hell when you don’t. AND……if you do something, it will be magical and wonderful, until you fuck something up (forget to take out the trash) or morning comes, whichever is first.
TODAY AT MY HOUSE:
Baby: He doesn’t know what’s going on.
Son: He prayed he would get the stomach virus that’s going around and not have to go to school today. His prayer was answered with a big “Okay”. Why the prayer? He’s eleven and sent a candygram to a girl. It finally hit him that his friends will not let this one rest. He’s hoping tomorrow will be better. I hate to tell him……it won’t.
Daughter: She got all dressed up in various shades of red and pink. She did her nails and asked if she could wear pink eyeshadow to school. She’s nine. That was a big fat “NO!” to her request. She was a little too excited about school today. Who is this boy?
Hubby and Myself: He asked about our Valentine’s plans. I said we don’t have any. I told him I didn’t get him anything, so he doesn’t need to worry about it. He smiled and said he will do something. I acted like I didn’t care, but as I said earlier……………………….
Personally, We don’t like to go all out on this day. We don’t even want to “let the waist out” just a little. See….If we go all out, we will be too exhausted. We’ll have to rest and save our energy for the other 364 days. BUT…….If we strike a nice balance between good days and bad days, then it’s all good. Besides, our legs are tired. We found a nice place to sit and rest. We aren’t going anywhere.
I think this is possibly my favorite of your blog posts. You struck a perfect balance here between hilarious, silly, parental, and sentimental. You often do, so that’s not surprising. But this one just got me a little bit. Don’t mind if I share.
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Where have you been all my life? Oh yeah….down the street.
As long as I can keep this “sicko sickness” the house has at bay, I’m going to try to put a few more things up today and milk it for all it’s worth. Greeting card, candy and flower companies shouldn’t have the market on this day. I want a piece of the action.
I loved to be shared. Well, you know……..Thanks.
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We had our Valnetines Day sex on Sunday specifically to avoid the pressure of living up to expectations today. I plan to be in bed by 8:30 tonight.
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I love a man with a plan.
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I, unfortunately, sorta fall into the ‘secret love’ category, he knows how I feel but we just don’t talk about it lol. When will Cupid learn to hit both parties instead of one? Your blog always put a smile on my face during a tedious work day. Thanks!
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Sometimes….talk is cheap. I’m glad you were able to view it since I put in a couple of “f” bombs that some offices block as porn. Crazy!
Have a great work day.
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To me, this day is no different than any other day. I feel it’s more important to show and tell those you love every day, not just on a ridiculously over-hyped and commercialized holiday.
Great post, as usual. It’s too bad most women don’t look at this as any other day like you do.
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I didn’t want to come out this way, but…..I’m really a man.
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Well then for your sake I hope your husband doesn’t read this…
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You killed me…..I am of the ‘who cares’ contingent and my husband is of the ‘you killed all my romantic dreams’ contingent. We try to strike a balance. This year is the first in 10 years I will be home for Hallmark Day, he invited me out to dinner (with reservations) and told me to please not wear jeans (one step up from sweats) but instead try to wear something nice (what the hell is wrong with jeans and cowboy boots anyway).
I think I will wear a skirt and go commando (tmi I know) just to prove I also am able to be romantic 😉
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Sounds like a good plan. I have a feeling he will appreciate the gesture. AND….Jeans and cowboy boots can be very sexy.
You have a great evening. He is a genius for making reservations or well-trained.
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Yeah this holiday is not that important to celebrate because I think that the most significant thing is that you know that your partner loves you and won’t wait for this ‘special’ day to let you know about that.
My father gave chocolate and a pair of fresh red roses to my mum the moment she woke. This is the most wonderful thing for me on this day!
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It is important that kids see the love that parents have for one another. Too often kids see the opposite. Now, that’s as long as they are still married to each other of course. Otherwise, that’s just a mess.
You have a great day, Valentine’s or Tuesday, whatever it may be. I 100% agree with always showing how you feel regardless of day or time.
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I especially love the part about the kids. Lovely!
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Any holiday, even this one is so much more interesting with children around. They give a perspective we have long since forgotten.
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I liked the part about the kids too. There is too much pressure over this day, That’s why I call it happy hearts day, and hope you have one today and most days lovey. Margie
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That’s a good name. Maybe we should see if it will stick.
Thanks so much….happy hearts day to you as well.
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Classic! Love the mom Valentine’s Day breakdown. Fits in the sassy-mom-hoping-for-a-little-romance-but-let’s-not-get-carried-away category. Good post 😉
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Thanks. Guat…you have it. That souns just about right.
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I particularly liked your last thought. Sometimes it’s just nice to have someone to be there for you.
Every year I tell Sean not to do anything, because then I don’t have to do anything! Lazy, maybe, but it’s easier for a guy–flowers, candy, a card. What am I supposed to get him (other than the obvious, nudge, nudge)? Ammo? You send a bullet to my heart, dear.
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No kidding. Yes, this is one of those days for newbies and I guess a last ditch effort for those in troubled times, but how fake and desperate is that?
He got up with the baby this morning and I said thanks for that valentine’s present. I snapped at him earlier because he didn’t hear me and I had to repeat my sentence 3x. He didn’t snap back. Yet…another present. So far, things are looking good for me. I guess I owe him a gift now.
I like “send a bullet to my heart” because it seems right on target.
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it’s “amateur nite” for going out anyway. continue…
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I can’t argue with that statement.
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Happy Hallmark Day.
Red.
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Happy Hallmark Day to you and Bear.
…Lorre (maybe I’ll start using Cowboy for the hubby)
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Sounds like a plan. Someone recently was talking to his wife. She referred to Bear by name. He said, “Who?” So many ppl only know him as Bear….
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What was that lady thinking?
Okay. So where is your big bear tattoo going?
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And with this being a leap year, you would’ve had to save your energy for the other 365 days. You’re right…it’s good to balance the good days with the bad. Valentine’s Day is just another day.
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Reading all you write is becoming a full time job….haha
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AND….like many jobs, the pay sucks. No benefits either.
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oh you get to converse with people like me…..well….ok like you said….no benefits….
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We don’t validate parking either.
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i needed a chuckle…thanks…..
lovely and witty…..wow
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I never thought about that. I don’t think I could’ve handled the pressure.
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I’d like to place an order for the Duck in a Dress for next year please.
How much extra for a hump on that?
Wait – let me rephrase…
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I’m not gonna lie. It’s gonna cost ya. Let me work up some numbers, but I need to know……….Lingerie underneath the dress or full-blown commando?
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Commando please. Or perhaps a nice nautically themed thong…
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I’ll get back to you.
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I hope you have a nice night in!
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I did. Thanks.
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Sometimes staying at home and having quiet time makes for the best days. I hope you and your husband had a wonderful Valentines Day 🙂
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We enjoyed our evening, thanks. I hope you had a lovely Valentine’s as well.
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