Whoring around in the blogosphere……(inspired by: 911 post)

This was inspired by the commenters on my earlier blog post (911….). You can totally blame each one of them for the length of this post. Sorry, Margie. I hope you can hang.

Of course you are and so am I silly. If you have several followers and several blogs that you follow, then let’s face it, you get around. Blogs are like people and intimate relationships. You set up your blog with a fancy little theme and try to change it around a bit so you stand out from others. That’s not unlike the way we decide to dress, although some of us stand out for the wrong reasons. The way we present our blog sends a message. Is it the right one? When we get in a mood in life, we might change our hairstyle or get some plastic surgery. In the blog world, we might upgrade our theme, change a font or add some graphics to our page. Just remember, if you are going to entice others to come and take a peek, you better be ready to put out the goods.

There are many types of relationships out there for blogs:

  • LONG-TERM:  You really like it and read it all the time.
  • REBOUND: Your favorite blogger went on hiatus and you need to find a replacement to fill the void.
  • ONE-NIGHT STAND:  You read a blog once and then “forget about it”.
  • BLIND DATE: Someone recommended them through a link.
  • CASUAL: You pop in and out when you see fit.
  • OPEN: You are a heavy commenter on several blogs, but the bloggers know you have more than one favorite.
  • BOOTIE CALL: You know where to go just to get that fix you need.

Okay……So you’ve hooked them. You’ve captured your prey, but now it’s up to you to keep them interested. That’s where the posts come in. There are so many directions you can go in, but the idea is to hold the reader’s interest and keep them coming back for more. Don’t forget your categories and tags are like personal ads. People seek out certain things and you need to be on their radar.

The different types of postings one blog could offer:

  • LONG: This can work for and against you. A lot of times, a reader sees the length before they decide to dive in. A bit of foreplay, in the way of a great opening will encourage them to give it a go. BUT…..You better have some mad skills to hold their attention. AND….By all means, don’t disappoint at the end with a fizzle. The reader needs to be satisfied or they may never travel that road again. Long posts can be hard to swallow. Long posts with no momentum can cause boredom, soreness and pain. The reader will assume you keep going on and on because you don’t know what the fuck you’re doing. Don’t let that happen.
  • SHORT: The polar opposite of the lengthy one. Too short and you could leave your reader disappointed or confused. “What just happened here?” If it stops short, you run the risk of being a tease.If you can manage a dynamic post in brevity, then all is forgiven, including lack of foreplay.
  • JUMPY: You have to show caution with a post that goes from topic to topic. There are those of us who enjoy a bumpy ride, but being sloppy and thoughtless in your presentation make the person want to jump out of the car.

So you found a blog you’re interested in and you decided to go on a reading date. If the blog is lucky, you may decide to go out on another and that could really lead to something.

The ways readers show they might want something more:

  • HIT: It’s like drunken sex with a stranger. You don’t know who it was, but somebody “hit that”.
  • LIKE BUTTON: “Hey. Looking good. I like what I see.”
  • COMMENT: This let’s them know exactly how you feel.
  • SHARE/LINK: “Damn good. Let’s get others involved.” (OR) “I have to brag about this.”
  • FOLLOW: “It’s some of the best I’ve had. I’m coming back for more.” (OR) “I’m forming a blog harem.”

There are some things to beware of in the blogosphere:

  • USE PROTECTION: Don’t give out a lot of personal information so that some crazy can hunt you down and make you his bitch. ALSO….If needed, moderate comments on your page to avoid any “cat fights”.
  • AVOID SPAM: These are the STD’s of the internet. Spam gets in there, usually by disguise and tries to infect you and everyone else that gets in its way.
  • PUTTING OUT ALL THE TIME: This is a recipe for disaster. Even Superman needed to rest. Don’t worry about “hitting” so many blogs and “putting out” on yours non-stop. This leads to exhaustion, which leads to ugliness and then no one will want to “hit that” anymore.

Above all, remember that blogging is fun and an outlet. If you’re lucky, it might lead somewhere amazing. BUT…..Don’t think you aren’t loved if it takes awhile for someone to call on you. It’s not like “real” relationships. Calm down. It’s hard being a “blog player”. Sometimes, to give one blogger attention, you may have to neglect another. BUT…..Unlike ignoring your wife to sleep with your mistress, it’s not cheating. AND…..Don’t get me started about Freshly Pressed. I attribute it to the game “7 Minutes in Heaven”, where you are randomly selected. There is no rhyme or reason to it. Just saying Rob.

44 thoughts on “Whoring around in the blogosphere……(inspired by: 911 post)

  1. OMG, I love, love, love this! You are right on the mark, and said it absolutely beautifully! LOL! Grinning from ear to ear now! 🙂


  2. For a writer that hasn’t written so much in a long while you are doing extraordinarily well, indeed this blog for instance… It mixes the juices of wickedness rather well, in one gasp it offers an insight into the blogging world and in another the scream of enjoyment tips the balance as we seem to think that your posting is leading us into an alternative field of naughtiness, a sexual entrapment perhaps? 😉

    Yes I agree those quickies, as in posting a short one can be a tad dull, but on the flip side of the coin a humongous lengthy one can put even the sexiest, I mean passionate reader off for life, rather like this comment as it is already bordering on the long drawn out and possibly even boring grouping, which I am working on as I type out my nonsense. Okay so what can one do to keep a reader excited, I mean interested? Well I know that you kept me enthralled during the reading of this one so there is nothing to teach you Lorre 🙂

    Keep everything on a fun to wicked level and that is how it is acheived…

    Have a wonderful rest of evening now and keep posting these delightfully orientated works of art, I do like your style my wickedly excellent friend…

    Androgoth XXx


    1. You caught me. After the 1st seriously boring post of the day, I had to step it up a notch. I really need to do this with every post and double meanings are quite delightful.

      I”m glad I held your interest. The last thing I need is to be is the blind date…you know…the one that has “the great personality”.


  3. So, we need to have this in ebook form as required reading for all new blogs. You have only asked me about this about an half dozen times so here’s my secret.

    I do read when I get the chance. But I get around to you and read backward until I either get somewhere I already commented or I can remember Beauregarde reading it to me. (My tele has a British accent and reads all my email to me.) For all of those who do not use excerpts, my tele reads to me while I work…or sleep as the case may be.

    The writing…I just do it. A. Lot. I think you will get a kick out of this week’s Friday Follies. No idea if I will add anymore to this post, as the last one is a doozy now and so applicable to this post.

    I think you handled the 911 just fine. Continue.


    1. Yes. I read backwards as well, at least the postings. I haven’t actually learned how to read words backwards at a fast and understood pace.

      I need someone or something to read to me. Yes. You do it amazingly well. I still am uncertain as to your real genetic make-up. 100% human? I don’t know. I will get around to your blog and look forward to what you have in store.



      1. You need a dose of Friday Follies and the 0800 post from this morning…Oh, Facebook. Come by and get the giggles. And if you miss both of them, check out tonight’s 2000 post…The SEP is about the people who make blogging totally worth all the assorted crap.

        And only my parents think I am an alien. I keep showing them my birth certificate, but they are unconvinced.


  4. Spot on! I always enjoy reading your posts, thanks! I’m still finding my voice when it comes to writing my blog (I’ve always been more of a fiction writer) and trying to not self censor as much as I do in the real world. When I read your blog, it reminds me that it’s ok to use all the parts of myself that I censor during the day. Thanks.


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