It’s be weighing on my mind.


DISCLAIMER: This post is not intended to make anyone feel worse or better about themselves. This post is not designed for sympathy or kind words. This post is just another mind explosion, courtesy of me. In other words, it’s all about me.

Yep. We’re back to the weight thing. SO…..If you read my post last night, you know my bag of potatoes finally got me to get off my butt and on the treadmill. I even poured out the last bit of my beer to start exercising. I worked out and felt great, so why not celebrate the greatness with a nice shower? Well, upon exiting the shower, I stepped out and stared myself down in the mirror. NOW……I had no choice, it’s right there across from the shower. What a wicked place to put such an object? AND….Of course, I was naked. I stopped taking showers in my clothes when I got out of college and sobered up. So anyway, I’m glaring at the temple that God gave me and realized that I totally trashed it, because I certainly wasn’t born with what appeared to be two flesh covered arm floats sitting on the tops of my thighs. The tattooed “cartoon” faces of my kids even looked obese. It was so depressing, I decided to get my vibrator, but it took one look at me and decided it had a headache. I went to the dresser to get some clothes to cover up and I heard it say: “We have nothing in your size.” and then giggles.

So that’s it. I vow now to start eating better and exercising. This may sound like an odd way to start, criticizing myself and making jokes, but that’s how I motivate myself. Compliments and “what sounds like” patronizing encouragement does not work with me. In fact, it makes me want to eat more and watch t.v. all day. I light a fire under my ass by giving myself some tough love. Now……That’s not to say anyone else can do that. Don’t go calling me a fat ass, because only I can do that.

Do I know there are people out there that weigh more than me, yes. The point is: there is always someone in the world with less or more than what we have, whether it’s weight, looks, talent, brains, athletic ability, blah, blah, blah……………………….Who cares? I’m not trying to compare myself to anyone else and use it as an excuse to not be a better me.

The day I went into labor with my second child I weighed 164 pounds. I weigh the same today, if my scale is correct. So aside from the distribution being different, I’m ready to pop and waiting for my water to break. (Oh wait! It’s just pee trying to escape its suffocating surroundings). When I met my hubby a bit over 8 years ago, I weighed 130, which I held quite nicely for 4 years. We then met these (certifiable crazy..no kidding) “festive” friends and we went crazy. We got together several times a week (more in the summer). We stayed up late, drank a lot of high calorie alcohol and ate a lot of cheesy, meaty crap.  I was always too tired to exercise. I gained 27 pounds in two years from that lifestyle. I still have another 7 pounds of baby weight to lose on top of that.

So I’m putting my goal out in the world to put pressure on myself, because that’s how I work. Get back down in size: between 135 – 140. I’ll give myself some cushion, since I’m getting older. AND…..Hopefully, the next time I do that test where you put the pencil under your ass cheek (if it holds you need to firm up your backside), I won’t need to use a rolling-pin instead.

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39 thoughts on “It’s be weighing on my mind.

  1. You’ll do it. WE WILL DO IT TOGETHER. Oh. Yes. We. WILL. Thank you for your candor, woman, loving you and it . Now may I borrow that flippin’ rolling pin??? LOL

    PS
    I really am ON it, at your side. I get it. We’ll get there. My target is April because May is pretty dresses and sandal time here. It’s only January, we can do this, yes we so can! I dance between writing. It used to work well. Until I stopped. Back to it, work out 3x per week for over 20 years but do a lot of brisk walking, daily crunches, sit ups, it works! Slowly but it works, if I can give you a shot in the arm in any way let me know, k 🙂 🙂 🙂

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    1. Okay, it’s like the “Rat Pack”, but it’s the “Fat Pack”. Let’s do it. I didn’t think about a target month, but by the end of May we go to the lake here, so maybe sometime in May.

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    1. AND….If I fail, I’ll have to leave the blog world from humiliation. Just kidding. I won’t leave. I’ll just have to blog about my failure and try again, but hopefully I won’t need to do that.

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  2. I admire your knife edge honesty and your built in ability to know when you need a good telling off, I too could do to lose a few stones in weight and although I do not wish to sport a six pack (Whether Pure Muscle or Just the Lager or Beer Alternative) I would still like to be a tad thinner, not that I feel overweight you understand but because I know that I could do a lot better than I am at the present time. Even my skinny jeans are nodding at the moment so I certainly like your idea of kicking ass on one’s own territory and doing something positive for one’s own schedule.

    The first step has been taken and there is no rush either, just take your time and try not to calorie count either as that way is really dreary, eat whatever you wish but less in quantity as the strictness of a diet can make one feel really down. Exercise daily and wait at least a month before getting on those scales again, actually going to bed earlier will unquestionably help but that is all I am saying on that one or else I might get into trouble 🙂 lol

    Right, the goals are set, get ready, get steady… Go 🙂 😉

    Have a most wicked rest of
    afternoon and evening Lorre 🙂

    Androgoth XXx

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    1. Actually you didn’t say too much. You gave me a lot of great ideas. I will try to resist getting on the scale for a month. That might give me even more motivation. I agree with going to bed earlier. Staying up late not only messes with my metabolism, but I tend to start snacking when I don’t need to…not to mention having a couple of drinks. Calorie counting is depressing, so I’ll say no to that as well.

      Thanks. I appreciate the feedback and I am feeling a very wicked evening coming on. Have a great one yourself.

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  3. Hope that works for you. I’m the opposite – tough love brings up memories of stupid people who have used it on me before. I’m sure aging doesn’t help a lot and running after children…. I appreciate your honesty and openness 🙂

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  4. Here’s something that will hopefully inspire you: http://warriorpoetwisdom.com/2012/01/07/warrior-weight-loss-wisdom/

    I found it effective to not focus on looking better, but focus on growing in discipline. The looking better part was never a good motivator for me, and only caused frustration because it takes so long to change an appearance. It also helped to not “celebrate” anything. No celebrations for completing a workout or losing a certain amount of weight. Accomplishing the task was reward enough, the feeling of fulfillment.

    Good luck!
    ~Miro

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    1. Just popped over. Wonderful poem and it says it all. I’m not into celebrating a goal like this with drinks and food, so no worries there. I get the pleasure of the domino effect. I find that when one habit changes, many fall in line without even trying.

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  5. Huh?? Oh. Right. That was you writing about you. For a minute, I thought it was me talking to me (sans the tats…mine is on my back where I can’t see it. LOL)

    *sigh*

    I’m in a period of having to practice self love right now – and not the tough kind. In March I’ll be 55 and there’s no hiding that fact when I’m naked. I’m having to teach myself to honor and embrace all of the changes my body has gone through so I don’t throw something at the mirror every time I look at myself. To help me, I began a new affirmation this year. My word is “beauty”…and so I wake up and say “I receive the gift of beauty, and I offer the gift of beauty to others.” It’s helping some…I guess. But I won’t go near a scale.

    I send all kinds of good juju your way to help you with your new goals, and I’m looking forward to reading your posts about loving your slammin’ new and lighter self. Feel good about you. That’s a precious gift you’re giving yourself.

    And you are beautiful now, btw…just in case your heart forgot to tell you.

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    1. Thanks. I know beauty is on the inside, but I’ve got to get myself in gear. I want to kick myself everyday for gaining so much weight due to bad lifestyle habits. I think getting pregnant actually saved me. It cured me from alcohol for that time period, which made me a lightweight when I could drink. I went to water beer, which has saved me calories and stopped hanging with those “festive friends”.

      The baby has just started sleeping through the night (5 nights now) and on schedule, so I am working out as soon as the baby goes down so there are no excuses or interruptions. I just finished 2 miles on the treadmill and actually jogged or walked them all. That’s a big deal for me. Thanks for the comment. I will surely keep you all posted.

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  6. I have a bucket in the bathroom where I keep all the excess weight. I just emptied it. I think if you walk to my house every night, it should not take but a week.

    And I am for 6 pounds. I am wearing a bikini again this year. Dammit.
    Red.

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    1. I imagine that would take off a lot of weight. I’m with you on the bikini. I’ve been sporting the “mom” swimsuit since I’ve been pregnant with my son and I’m about ready to burn it. Let’s do this bikini thing!

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      1. Deal. I hate having to shop online, but the stores here are foolish enough to believe it is cold everywhere…and there is no such thing as a heated pool. Cretins.

        I have not decided yet, and the spring colors are not even hinted (except that acid yellow which looks striking like Tequila Sunrise vomit). May have to go with the standby…red.
        Red.

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      2. Red works. I’m just hoping to fit into my old bikinis. Barely worn…I guess I ballooned too quickly after getting them. I got smart after awhile and bought string bikinis so I could adjust the bottoms.

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  7. Good luck – buy one of those strange contraptions that are always being flogged on the TV – “Ab Buster” “Butt Straightener” “Arm Reducter” or some such. After you’ve used it once you can hang wet clothes off it to dry! So you have bought a springloaded clothes horse! Men can’t multi-task? Pah!

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    1. I admit….I am always looking at those ab things because I can’t stand to do crunches, but we have plenty of weights, a treadmill, a Total Home Gym and some other equipment. I have more than enough, now it’s time to take the clothes off (the ones on the equipment) and get to working.

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