SO…..I’m sitting here trying to get through the blogs I follow because I got a bit behind again. I’m drinking my water beer and suddenly I’m wondering what this intertube is around my mid-section. Oh! It’s my ever-expanding stomach. I don’t know if I should be grateful that it only amounts to one roll when I sit or disgusted because that one roll is the size of a 5 pound bag of potatoes. In any case, I was upset enough when I weighed myself this morning, but then I went to the doctors and weighed myself on their scale. Well, their fucking scale said I weighed 4 more pounds than mine. WTF! So….enough already. I’m finishing my beer and getting on the treadmill. I could drink it while I’m on, but I just can’t wrap my brain around that concept.
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Articles of Absurdity 
The scales at the doctors’ offices are rigged! Margie
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Please say they are rigged to make you feel crappy about yourself because the nursing staff are overeaters and want us all to feel fat.
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lol, thank you!
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Nurses have a hell of a job.
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No problem.
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Amen!
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I find myself getting incredibly annoyed and upset when I’m asked to get on the scale at the dr.s for that reason alone! It’s never the same number……ever! As if Shirley in her white nurse shoes and Minnie mouse scrubs could give a rats ass if I weighed my self this morning, naked, after my morning business and it was 6lbs lighter then what her, cleary broken and crap scale has to say. I have adopted the habit of getting on backwards now, the looks given by other nurses are a prize in itself!
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For my sanity, I’m going to pretend that the doctor’s scale is broken and mine is too. I may be living in denial for a bit, but it keeps this ship moving.
Getting on backwards is priceless.
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eh, stick with the blogs. They’ll distract. I’ve been known to spend a whole day at work just surfing from post to post…
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The writing and not reading? OR…Blogs in general and stop exercising?
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I’m quite sure those Doctor scales LIE..It’s all good…
..but honestly you should switch off that water beer and get something decent! life is short…
They do have yummy micro brew beer these days you know..you don’t have to drink that sludge.
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My tastebuds aren’t that sophisticated. I’m not planning on giving up on eating great (bad for you) food or getting my drink on, but I need to cut back….even if it’s water beer. Swimsuit season will not be forgiving if I don’t.
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LOL Agree with Margie, hope you know you are not alone. I have two tires, I think, LOL Trying not to count ’em, lol. It’s the winter toll we pay 🙂 Sweating, sweating, sweating from typing, lol.
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I know what you mean. My fingers look great though. If I could only teach my ass and thighs to type, then we’d be on to something.
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oh yeh…..that sweating from typing works great Jan!
maybe you could market that in early morning Info-mercials….
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If only it worked.
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‘Sweating over a Hot Keyboard with Janice’!
$19.95 in 3 easy installments
Special 5 minute one time only promotion….$17.95 in 3 easy installments…
*with special offer Buy 1 get one free Dominoes Fully Loaded*
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Ha ha. Its 5 am and Im getting ready to go run 4 miles. Might have to try it with a beer myself.
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Wear the beer hat, it will make it easier.
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I would take the tire and the beer and hit the treadmill. You could tread waterbeer!
And those scales are placed in all doctors offices to increase the number of psychiatric referrals.
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Ha, ha….good one.
I agree and it’s not unlike the dressing room mirrors. They are like carnival mirrors. Someone’s getting a kickback somewhere.
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I’m sure you’re a beautiful, vivacious, intelligent woman – as is! Besides, in ancient times full-bodied women were revered, weren’t they?
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Leave it to someone called “The Hook” to know I was fishing for compliments. My husband won’t argue with you, but he also knows what’s good for him.
I like to be hard on myself. It’s a great motivator for me. I’m getting ready to blog on that next. I’m sure that is exciting to hear.
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I remember reading that your weight fluctuates throughout the day. So you weigh less in the morning than in the evening. And who cares what the scale says, you have such a dynamic wit that your readers (me included) want you just the way you are!!
christyb
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It does, but it had only been an hour. Thankfully my wit won’t change with weight gain or loss, at least, I hope not.
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Lorre, anyway, you only have a 5 lb bag of taters and mine’s 10 lbs! That reminds me … I need to go eat lunch!
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That’s the bag around my stomach. I have more bags of various items. Enjoy your lunch!
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Lorre those scales at the doctor’s surgery are always wrong, and don’t they enjoy telling one the weight after jumping on there, how they smile but do they take into consideration our clothes, our jewellery, our shoes or boots? Quick answer Noooooooooooooooooo they don’t and my clothes weigh rather a lot as I am six foot two and wear rings on every finger, bloody hell even my belt is metal so what does the nurse expect? Now if I got totally starker’s and hopped on the scales then I would weigh about two stone lighter just with those items taken out of the inventory 🙂
Freakin’ Nurses…
What do they know? 🙂 lol
Androgoth XXx
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I was in nursing school for awhile….those nurses….not much. I agree…screw their scale reading. I’ll go with mine. At least it’s lower.
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I don’t know about potatoes, but I picked up 8 lbs of something ugly over the holidays.
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Here’s to hoping we can get rid of the extra baggage….people can be included in that.
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