Spam I Am. (#1)


I’ve been a bad blog girl:  I’ve neglected some of my legitimate commenters. I checked my spam and found all kinds of wonderful comments from some great folks. I would like to take the opportunity now to respond to some of them.

POST: If it stumbles like a drunk and slurs like a drunk, it might be a drunk. (Part 1)

  • Comment from Web Hosting Site: This site doesn’t render appropriately on my iphone 4 – you might wanna try to fix that Me: Thanks for stopping by, but it’s not my fucking fault you can’t work your iPhone 4 when sober or intoxicated. I’m not part of the Geek Squad and I’m not going to fix your problem.
  • Comment from Credit Site: I own a condition in this subject. If anyone might help myself and then make sure you contact us ME: It’s pretty damn clear you “own” the “drunk fuck” condition. I have no doubt. Dude, don’t waste you time trying to help yourself or ask someone to do it for you. If you are as drunk as it seems, that little soldier is not going to salute tonight. There will be no contact, but thanks for stopping by my site.

POST: Clarification to: “Making an appearance……” post

  • Comment from Isabella ??: I believe this came about due to the fact that when I was a small child I lived with my mother, grandfather and disabled grandmother Me: You caught me. I’m sorry Isabella, but you’re right. I’ve held this post in for a long time, but when I found out you lived with your mother, grandfather and your sickly disgusting disabled  grandmother as  a child…..well, I couldn’t hold it in any longer. If it takes a small post about sex that works to take the focus off your childhood neediness, then sobeit.

POST: Weekly Photo Challenge: Self-Portrait

  • Comment from Wyatt ??: This kind of person is a bit like the sheep at a zoo we all know it�� s there, we can see it, but we really don�� t care to interact with it. Me: I’d like to thank you for stopping by, but you’re a real ass. It’s clearly a mask you idiot. Go piss on someone else’s parade and learn how to use the damn keyboard for more than just scratching your ass.

POST: My New Year Realization

  • Comment from Colon Cleanser: I’m young on here, I thrash this website I repossess It pretty constructive and it is forced me to be out a whole lot. I determination be accomplished to develop & aid other users prefer it has helped me Me: Are you threatening me? Do you work for WordPress? My credit card is good, so I’m pretty sure you can’t repossess my damn site. AND…You better not do some hacker shit and thrash it either. Sorry my blog has traumatized you to the point of having to leave your computer and go out, but I constructed it that way. I can’t even begin to understand your last sentence. I imagine your cleanser is working and it’s a little hard to type the right words when you are exploding on the “john”. Stop back by when you aren’t cleaning your insides, but wash your hands first.
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38 thoughts on “Spam I Am. (#1)

  1. The spammers are hilarious. One lady said a spammer told her “A monkey could do this.” I had one to tell me “I don’t usually lie on my stomach to read but today, it felt right.” Like, okay. They do give me a good laugh sometimes.

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    1. I’m glad they are blocked from posting, but I love reading them for entertainment purposes. There are some crazy ones for sure.
      I often lay on my stomach when reading your blog too. It does feel right.

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      1. i haven’t got one of those yet…sure it will come…but I get a little creeped out too by the searches people do that find my page!! yikes!

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      2. Yes. It is disturbing, but it’s kind of hard not to be found by a sicko now and again because search terms are pulled out of the whole piece and put together in an unintended manner for the sicko to find. On the brightside….you get a blog hit and they get deeply disappointed.

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  2. The only thing better than reading this blog is having the Brit bloke in my tele to read it to me. OMG! Spam in Brit is hysterical! But it holds no candle to your answers. Can I smell spam burning?
    Red.

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    1. Well, if you last longer in bed, then you will probably need multiple partners in order to have relay sex, since they would need a break. You know, they have to pass the baton (so to speak), but they all probably use Google so I can sorta see the connection if you’re any good.

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  3. One that made me laugh the most was a comment that was just a url:
    pornbeer.com. No text, no backwards english, just that. Though I guess it does say it all.

    Now excuse me, off to investigate this “scratching my ass with a keyboard” that you describe…

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    1. Sorry about that. I was wondering when my pornographic blog hidden in this disguise was going to get someone in trouble.

      So I guess if I comment back: drunken sex, fuck this, dick tracy, clitter clatter and beaver damn….you’re going to get the porn filter again?

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      1. That would definitely ensure it. I’m not sure what the filter is looking at. I just thought it was funny. The first time I thought maybe I clicked on the wrong button or something. But then I tried again and it was blocked again.

        As to your question, I think you should combine drunken sex, fuck this, dick tracy, clitter clatter, and beaver damn all into one epic post. Consider yourself challenged.

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  4. Hey I am going to have to click on the ‘Follow’ option so that (In Theory) I won’t miss any more of your wondrously wicked postings, your witty remarks gave me the giggles and Vampires don’t giggle all that much unless they are having some, noooo not that, I meant having some fun with new necks to bite 🙂

    You certainly went for the jugular on these Spammers and deservedly so, you have a crushing sense of wickedness that I rather like my fine young friend. Indeed Spam never tasted so good Lorre 🙂 😉

    Androgoth XXx

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  5. Thanks. I think I’ll cook it up from time to time. I’m still not getting any of your posts. I’ll have to check on your site again. I think everytime I sign on to follow, you take me off. Is that what’s going on?

    I’m glad I got a giggle out of you, but can’t really good neck biting lead to…well, you know.

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    1. Absolutely not I don’t delete anyone from those genuinely following me, it could be my settings that are blocking you (Everyone Maybe) because some users of this WordPress are clicking to follow me but never call into my Space, and so I don’t like the idea of those getting my scripts in their e mail.

      Put it this way it is like me opening my wallet and saying “Here Take Whatever You Like”, now of course I want my regular reader base to be able to call by and read my stories and scripts but I don’t like peeps passing by and clicking ‘Follow’ and never even introducing themselves to me, not even via a simple Hello on my Guestbook…

      I think as a knock-on-effect it is stopping my wickedly fine friends from receiving updates too and you are not the first to mention this to me Lorre so I apologise to you if that is what is happening and I hope that you can understand what I mean about peeps clicking and receiving updates on my work, and yet never bothering to call by and say hello…

      And YES really good neck biting
      always leads to… You know? 😉 🙂

      Yes I know…
      Wittering on again 🙂 lol

      Have a wicked wednesday I know that I will 🙂

      Androgoth XXx

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      1. I don’t get many updates on peeps new postings either, so i just use my blogroll and try to keep up that way, I might not even get yours but I will keep calling by for a bite, I mean a bit, I mean for some, I mean… Oh Werewolves you know what I mean? 🙂 😉 lol

        Androgoth XXx

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      2. Yes sign or be plagued by the Werewolves, Ghouls, Zombies and even some of those Naughty Vampires too if you don’t watch out 🙂 😉 lol Now as for the wallet question… If you can avoid all the Moths then ‘Yes’ do have a good look in there… lol

        Androgoth XXx

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  6. I don’t know how y’all come up with these funny spam posts. Trying to find some connection with the actual content they tagged is a brilliant idea! You know, seeing as how their stupid program can’t!
    I love the drunk fuck. I deleted three variations of that same spam recently, noting that they list an email address at harvard.edu. Yeah, that’s credible!

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  7. Can you help me with a large sum of money I’ve inherited? I need someone I can trust to send me their bank account details so I can take out—eh hem, excuse me—PUT IN $124,693,444.

    Yours in confidence.

    Like

    1. That’s a good one. That’s not far off the cold calls being made now, having people send in a few hundred dollars to claim thousands.People are such scum sometimes, but I guess there is some easy prey out there.

      Like

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