1. Wrath (anger, violence, abuse)
- not finding that certain item for Christmas
- trampling over an old woman to get that item when you do find it
- having to spend the holiday with “those” relatives again
- the verbal abuse that follows when being cooped up too long with “those” relatives
- realizing the effort put in versus the appreciation received is quite unbalanced
2. Greed (materialism, wish for more)
- having to have this and that for presents
- your child’s Christmas list, which is basically…..everything
- wanting more than you need
- expecting your parents to lavish you with gifts (money) when you are a grownup with your own family
3. Sloth (lazy, whiner, physically or mentally inactive)
- It’s a holiday. Mini vacation?
- complaining if you have to do anything or go anywhere
- acting like wrapping presents is a form of torture (You shouldn’t have bought so many dumbass! How about a nice gift bag?)
- playing the “I can’t get off the couch.” card after eating too much or hanging a few lights
4. Pride (ego, arrogance, vanity, conceit, boast)
- feeling entitled to get everything you asked for
- bragging to others about how much you spent or how much you got
- thinking your fucked up light display is the best because you put Jesus and the blow up Santa side by side to prove…”We can all get along.”
5. Lust (strong desire, craving, longing, passion)
- drinking so much at the Christmas party you start gyrating on the copy machine
- excited about New Years….you might just get laid this year
- going to the mall to sit on Santa’s lap and requesting a lap dance…from him
6. Envy (resentment or discontent because of someone else’s qualities, luck or possessions/jealous/grudge)
- wishing you thought to put Jesus and Santa side by side on the lawn (Really though, it looks totally stupid and inappropriate.)
- always thinking someone else got more or better stuff than you did
- Telling your kids Santa doesn’t exist because you ask for their mother to become prettier and nicer each year and it only gets worse. Realizing, God must exist because only he would do this shit to you for making ridiculous demands.
7. Gluttony (eating or drinking in excess)
- Hell yeah! If the holidays aren’t for stuffing your face and drinking to the point of urinating in your pants because you passed out on the lawn trying to seduce the entire nativity scene on the neighbor’s lawn………then what are they for??!!??
It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas……………………
28 thoughts on “The 7 Deadly Sins and the Holidays”
Lorrelee, don’t forget the 8th deadly sin which is:
8. ” Having to pay the bills for all the JUNK bought for Christmas.
No, wait, that’s not a sin, that’s a crime, isn’t it? “:)
Merry Christmas !
I put that on my Christmas list.
Santa: Pay for this Christmas. PLEEEAASSSEEE
Those are so good, I am so grateful I did not have coffee in my mouth when I started reading!
I resemble some of those relatives…or is it some of my relative resemble your list?
Let’s go with the second part of that sentence. It’s always nice to blame others.
I can’t comment on the wrath I feel at “those” relatives as they are looking over my shoulder as I type this … and they’re not even MY relatives, but my husband’s. Mine are a hoot! Oh well.
I was once in a play where I played “Envy.” I decided then that I wouldn’t become my character in real life. What’s the point of envy when you can just steal the stuff you don’t get.
That’s very true. Just don’t get caught. Jail food would suck during the holidays.
You had me at Wrath, second bullet! Except mine was “having old woman trample over you. Repeatedly.” And not wanting the item, either… Ah, Christmas! Gluttony sounds “just perfect” right about now.
Wow. What did you do to make her mad? Shopping can be a dangerous sport.
LOL … yet true .. ouch .. truth hurts. 🙂 …
Merry Christmas oh absurd one … Come on over as their are presents under the tree. 🙂
Merry Christmas and I will stop by.
Expect coal in your stocking darling! You are a trip, LOL! Margie
Wow. Coal would be an upgrade. Usually I get dog poo!
I remember the first time I got laid on NY’s. It was just last year. NOT!
Whenever it was…..good for you.
Nice post Happy Christmas to you 🙂
…and to you.
There’s always one family that you read about on Christmas–they either get all their presents stolen or one of them shoots the other. It makes me realize how lucky I am to have my dysfunctional family around me.
Thanks for reminding me.
At least with a dysfunctional family, you know what you’re getting……dysfunction.
There are a lot of good (in a bad way) fights at super bowl time too. AND…I mean families. If you can’t fight with them, who can you fight with?
Love the fresh take on the seven deadlies! Funny as always, with a hint of sodium pentothal for truth. Love it, my friend!
Merry Christmas, and I’m guessing you go four for seven on the list.
That is certainly a possibility. Merry Christmas to you as well.
merry christmas to you and yours (~_~)
Thanks. We let the kids open one gift, so we started a bit early.
Merry Christmas to you as well and Happy Holidays!
Wow. Humorous, yes, but serious all at the same time. Some very good stuff to ponder in there. We could all do with a little attitude check when it get’s to be this time of year. Thanks for those reminders, and Merry Christmas!
Sadly enough, there do seem to be too many bad attitudes during the holiday season.
Merry Christmas and soon to be Happy New Year!
Nice post. A real good one. I am looking forward to read more in your blog.
Welcome. I’m glad you liked it and thanks for coming by.
I like the top and the bottom. I leave all the middle ones to the relatives and shoppers who make me choose the top and the bottom. At least they are a matched set…once I drink enough to squint.
Sounds like you have a plan of action. That’s very important during the holidays. I’m a really big fan of the last one myself. BUT….I’m not trying to fondle anyone’s yard ornaments.