With fathers like this………….

I try to refrain from being too serious on my blog, but I need to vent and relay some more future advice to my lovely daughter. You see, this is the third weekend in a row her father has disappointed her. First: No Thanksgiving holiday because he was at some wedding (wink, wink). Second: No scheduled weekend visit due to his detox mission for someone (code for: having sex or getting drunk off my ass). Thirdly: His rescheduled weekend with them is still on, but he invited two guys to stay at the house for the weekend. He will be hanging out with them while the kids are over. So….he won’t bring his daughter to the birthday party she was invited to. He can, he just won’t since he has company. To top it off, he has yet to ask her about any of her afterschool activities (chorus, soccer). She recently won a contest and decided it wasn’t worth telling him about.

So for my daughter:

It’s not you, it’s him

You don’t need to be prettier

You don’t need to be smarter

And…you don’t need to be more talented

You don’t need to kiss his ass

You shouldn’t have to beg for his time and attention

It’s not you, it’s him

You don’t need to be more athletic

You don’t need to ask him about his job

And….you don’t need to talk differently

You don’t need to stroke his ego

You shouldn’t have to walk on glass around him

It’s not you, it’s him

He doesn’t need to be selfish

He doesn’t need to be one-sided

And….he doesn’t need to be self-absorbed

He doesn’t need to believe respect is his right

He shouldn’t make you feel less than all the time

It’s not you, it’s him

One day, he will realize

It will be too late

And….you will have grown tired of trying

You will be strong and move on

You shouldn’t feel guilty about that

15 thoughts on “With fathers like this………….

  1. Sounds much too much like what I grew up with. I was fortunate also and I had a real “dad” even if he wasn’t the sperm donor. You are right when you surmise that when he wakes up it will be too late. I know . . . I lived it. There’s a lot more than making a baby to being a real dad.

    Touchy and thoughtful post. It touched me.


    1. Thanks. Some people just don’t get it. I’m kind of thinking he may never get it. He is just in his own world. Maybe when he isn’t the one walking her down the aisle he’ll realize something went astray.

      It sucks. I also grew up like this, but my step-parents (3 of them..one my dad married 2x) were nightmares.

      Amen to great substitute moms and dads out there!


  2. Absolutely amazing advice, and something I wish I could have the strength to see even now, at 30… I find myself falling into the same warped way of thinking still today… I have to be constantly conscious of those thoughts creeping in…


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