I try to refrain from being too serious on my blog, but I need to vent and relay some more future advice to my lovely daughter. You see, this is the third weekend in a row her father has disappointed her. First: No Thanksgiving holiday because he was at some wedding (wink, wink). Second: No scheduled weekend visit due to his detox mission for someone (code for: having sex or getting drunk off my ass). Thirdly: His rescheduled weekend with them is still on, but he invited two guys to stay at the house for the weekend. He will be hanging out with them while the kids are over. So….he won’t bring his daughter to the birthday party she was invited to. He can, he just won’t since he has company. To top it off, he has yet to ask her about any of her afterschool activities (chorus, soccer). She recently won a contest and decided it wasn’t worth telling him about.
So for my daughter:
It’s not you, it’s him
You don’t need to be prettier
You don’t need to be smarter
And…you don’t need to be more talented
You don’t need to kiss his ass
You shouldn’t have to beg for his time and attention
It’s not you, it’s him
You don’t need to be more athletic
You don’t need to ask him about his job
And….you don’t need to talk differently
You don’t need to stroke his ego
You shouldn’t have to walk on glass around him
It’s not you, it’s him
He doesn’t need to be selfish
He doesn’t need to be one-sided
And….he doesn’t need to be self-absorbed
He doesn’t need to believe respect is his right
He shouldn’t make you feel less than all the time
It’s not you, it’s him
One day, he will realize
It will be too late
And….you will have grown tired of trying
You will be strong and move on
You shouldn’t feel guilty about that
Articles of Absurdity 
he sure is a pile!
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That is a very nice way of putting it.
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I wish that all daughters with deadbeat dads could read and heed this advice.
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I guess it could go for horrible moms too. Some people just aren’t meant to be parents. Too bad it has to hurt the kids.
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How did you get so wise at such a young age? Wonderful advice, and superior writing!
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Experience I guess.
Thanks. I’m glad you stopped by to read the blog. I don’t know how often you read it, but I hope you like it.
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Lotsa a meaningful thoughts within the wit!
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Thanks. It happens.
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That’s great that you can speak out for your daughter and tell her that! I hope it can give her the confidence and strength. 🙂
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The good news is: She has an amazing stepdad who acts like a father should.
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Aw, that’s good! That doesn’t always happen.
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Sounds much too much like what I grew up with. I was fortunate also and I had a real “dad” even if he wasn’t the sperm donor. You are right when you surmise that when he wakes up it will be too late. I know . . . I lived it. There’s a lot more than making a baby to being a real dad.
Touchy and thoughtful post. It touched me.
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Thanks. Some people just don’t get it. I’m kind of thinking he may never get it. He is just in his own world. Maybe when he isn’t the one walking her down the aisle he’ll realize something went astray.
It sucks. I also grew up like this, but my step-parents (3 of them..one my dad married 2x) were nightmares.
Amen to great substitute moms and dads out there!
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Absolutely amazing advice, and something I wish I could have the strength to see even now, at 30… I find myself falling into the same warped way of thinking still today… I have to be constantly conscious of those thoughts creeping in…
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It’s hard. You can’t pick your family and despite it all, there is still love there. Of course, that’s what makes it so hard.
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