Barbie and Her Eggs
My friend finally brought me into the current times and showed me how to post my videos. It’s what my Barbie Blog shoud’ve been. I will post again today so those of you who have seen this don’t feel cheated.
Month: November 2011
Celebrity News: Kids, Conspiracy Theories and Dolly
Top Celebrity News: Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are very upset and concerned about the “Occupy” protests that are still going on all around the world. They hate being known as Mr. and Mrs. 1% and vowed to become a part of the 99%. Together, they have adopted 3 children. They will continue to adopt… Read More Celebrity News: Kids, Conspiracy Theories and Dolly
Whose a Rotten Egg? (Barbie style….)
Here’s to all the women, who are old and foolish, like me….have another child, don’t have another child, drink some more alcohol? Whatever! We’re only as old as we feel it’s said, but our eggs might say otherwise. Ken met Barbie They fell head over heels Proposed marriage, bought a house Started to pile up… Read More Whose a Rotten Egg? (Barbie style….)
Love or Nothing Like It…through the years
It started in fourth grade with an anonymous letter But in a small town, you should’ve known better You bought me a pretty anklet, from Avon no less With it a letter, your love to confess You were a year older and flattered I should be What a perverted fuck to write you want to lay… Read More Love or Nothing Like It…through the years
Occupy Oakland and Get Pregnant (Barbie style)
WELL, maybe not at the same time. There is some pretty big news going around these days…….Penn State, protestors, and Bieber Fever at the maternity ward. For obvious reasons, I will not portray the Penn State scandal, which is beyond disgusting and upsetting. BUT…….. How about the other two? This is a scene from Occupy Oakland… Read More Occupy Oakland and Get Pregnant (Barbie style)
The Battle of the Bulge
This is only meant to offend people like me,who bitch and moan about their weight gain, while eating a bag of chips with dip. You may be losing the battle if: you are referring to your ass when you say, “The bulge in your pants”. you can start a fire by rubbing a stick between your thighs. your blood type is… Read More The Battle of the Bulge
Hair Today…..Gone Tomorrow
So I did something amazing today. I decided to pick my other blog back up (Poetic Leftovers) today. That was a shameless plug on my part. I abandoned it for better things and finally the guilt got to me. It inspired me to think about other things that are old and abandoned, like crappy ass hairstyles, clothing… Read More Hair Today…..Gone Tomorrow
In Honor of Veterans Day
For Veterans Day, I was going to observe a day of silence on my blog. For those who know me, silence was going to be impossible. Let’s not muck up the waters today with my usual rantings and sarcasm, so…..I offer a solution. I wrote a poem (simplistic and perhaps naive) when I was 16 years-old about two men in a… Read More In Honor of Veterans Day
Lacking brains? Here! Come up with a plan for the remains.
Okay. I had to add a new tag and category today: WTF were you thinking? and WTF! So this small town I live in has made the national, and I suspect, international news. For what you might ask? Apparently we were the dumping site for those poor soldier’s remains from 2003-2008, thanks to the wisdom… Read More Lacking brains? Here! Come up with a plan for the remains.
My Day In Rhyme (…bad rhyme)
My day began at midnight Like a dumbass I was up Consuming beer and pepperoni To increase the size of my butt Fell asleep at 2:30 With a sick baby in my bed …very little rest Being kicked in the throat and head Woke after hitting snooze Barely sleeping before Peeling myself out somehow Feeling like a worn out whore… Read More My Day In Rhyme (…bad rhyme)
Articles of Absurdity 