Went to the Y 6 days ago
Got weighed, measured, bought a lot of crap
To get me motivated and melt my fat
The “coach” sold me a system….
Shakes, protein, tea and pills
To keep my energy up and cure my ills
I started this “system” the day before
A holiday with obscene amounts of food
Of course I cheated, I couldn’t be rude
And then, I cheated once more
Hung out with some friends
Nothing like cheesy meat dip to do you in
I still drank my nightly beer
But switched from bottles to cans and made it lite
Drinking beer water from scrap metal…..”It ain’t right.”
Threw in a bowl of snacks each night
Doritos, cheese puffs or whatever I found
Can’t you tell, I’m weight loss bound
Out of 12 shakes, I’ve had 7
But I’ve worked out with weights
6 days a week…”Ain’t I the shit?”
So I weighed in today
After all of that cheating
Lost 1.8 pounds…with what I’ve been eating
Articles of Absurdity 
Good lines … but hey …. at least you are honest with yourself.
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But….maybe not so much with the coach.
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I think you picked the wrong time of year to start this huh? Lol. I’m so with you on the beer…I usually have 6-10 everynight. It’s so damn relaxing after work. Bottles are so much better. Good luck with the weight thing.
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your a survivor!
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We’ll see how week #2 goes. How am I going to write a decent blog without my goat nipple picture.
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No kidding. I’ll cheat if I have to.
Beer in a bottle is 100% better. I’ll stick with the light, but I might have to go back to bottles. I was trying to watch my bank account as well as the waistline, but the added cost is worth it.
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Funny lines and I relate all too well to the weight loss efforts. Big fail right now for me, lol… best to you 🙂
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As long as the failing tasted delicious, then take that with you. Someone really needs to invent healthy food that tastes sinful.
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Good luck. You are my hero. If you could lose anything turkey day week you are amazing. Keep it up and you can be my role-model. 🙂
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Dont’ make me your hero yet. We’ll see what week #2 brings. I weigh in every Tuesday. AND….like before, I cheated Wed. and Thurs and missed 2 workouts. SO…..we’ll see how it goes.
I’m assuming by the weight loss, I ate a hell of a lot of bad crap (cheese, pepperoni, lots of chips and dip and beer with more calories) that I am cutting out now. That’s probably the big difference here.
An “anonymous” trainer told me that if you eat less calories, even if it is all chocolate, you will lose weight. You won’t be healthy, but you will lose pounds. Interesting!
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