Here’s to all the women, who are old and foolish, like me….have another child, don’t have another child, drink some more alcohol? Whatever! We’re only as old as we feel it’s said, but our eggs might say otherwise.
Ken met Barbie
They fell head over heels
Proposed marriage, bought a house
Started to pile up bills
Barbie was a good wife
Ken was happy to get laid
It happened…Barbie got pregnant
She was young with good eggs
Barbie grew older
Faded makeup and fat
Screwing a mom with twins
Was not Ken’s new bag
Barbie was sad her eggs got old
Ken took his looks and fled the scene
With Tasha the hooker and……….
Eventually, Barbie lost the weight
Got “plastic” surgery and glammed up
She decided to have another baby
Before her clock just gave up
Alas, it was way too late
Her eggs were broken and dead
No babies just menopause
And….. a chalk outline instead
Why, oh why
Can’t good eggs fall from the sky
Like the ones I dream of
Nestled between my skinny plastic thighs
I know Ken is gone
Fuck him, I have a plan
My doctor and “toy” collection
Substitutes for that pathetic man
If God gives you broken eggs…..make scrambled eggs. OR…..something like that!
The above link goes to a video I tried to create with a new program I have. I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing, but I gave it a shot. It wouldn’t upload to this blog, so you get what you get.
15 thoughts on “Whose a Rotten Egg? (Barbie style….)”
Oh no, attack of the Barbies is back. I don’t have time to read (running out the door), but now I have something to look forward to when I get home.
Hope it is worth the wait!
Not only was it worth the wait, but it was worth postponing my bloggy duties. I see a series of Barbie post, maybe even a book. I’m really serious about a book too. I think people would love it.
Wouldn’t that be something! I’m glad you liked it.
I spent hours last night trying to figure out this program I bought months ago to make videos/slide shows. I had this all set up as a slide show, but the file was too damn big for the blog. I posted what you see here, but decided to open up a YouTube account so I can link that stuff in the future. I still can’t figure out how to get any music/audio on through that damn program. I need a “technology wife”.
Okay. I added the link.
First-time visitor as I saw your comment somewhere, thus thought I’d visit. So what did I find? Ah yes, someone with a warped sense of humor. Well done.
Happy to meet you and glad you appreciate a warped sense of humor.
Fucking hilarious. You’ve got to figure out how to properly use that new problem and entertain us (me) more. You may be onto something here, and I’m just twisted enough to keep coming back for sloppy seconds, thirds, etc.
Thanks for checking this out. Hope you took a look at the other twisted stuff on here.
Once I can figure that program out, things will be a lot better around these parts.
Hey nice post 🙂 do drop by my blog sometime. thanks
Glad you liked it. Thanks for the invite.
Okay, I was cursing my blog reader because it wasn’t showing my likes. I came back to “re-like” the post and make sure it wasn’t a new one (I’m so far behind in reading my favorite blogs). It was fate or something, cause there was the slide show. This MUST continue! The credits . . . LMAO! I was chuckling, but the credits . . . OMG. I pee’d my pants. I’m still laughing.
I am going to hound you for more of these. YouTube is a great idea. I can see your Barbie clips going viral.
I’m also far behind in reading the blogs and missed a blogging day myself. That was an intentional break though.
YouTube might save me on the things I can’t seem to upload here. It’s just one more thing to keep up with though. BUT….keep hounding, it helps motivate me.
for sure a lot of work …
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