Occupy Oakland and Get Pregnant (Barbie style)


WELL, maybe not at the same time. There is some pretty big news going around these days…….Penn State, protestors, and Bieber Fever at the maternity ward. For obvious reasons, I will not portray the Penn State scandal, which is beyond disgusting and upsetting. BUT…….. How about the other two?

 This is a scene from Occupy Oakland (encampment). These poor Barbies are in a lot of pain. They say they will camp out until their fight against the government and “big bad” corporations is won. I suspect they will be camping out until their painted on makeup has long disappeared and their fake flesh starts rotting. They are pretty upset that the government has taken so much from them:

HOMES: They were never going to live in that Barbie Dream House paying their own mortgage. They definitely think they are too good for the Barbie Camper. Regardless of their luck, they were going to live with mommy and daddy for as long as they could.  On that note, some of them have been kicked out by their parents because they refuse to work in the retail or food industry, due to being stuck-up, ungrateful, entitled snots. They just happened upon the protest and needed a place to crash. They have no idea why they are protesting. We can blame Mattel for a bit of this. They no longer make the Barbie McDonald’s. They are too busy making Barbie recording studios and makeup centers. Way to keep with the times. Okay. Big corporation is responsible for that one.

JOBS: They never had one and they blame the economy. Maybe you shouldn’t have majored in Romantic Literature in this day and age…dumbass! Maybe you should have had less beer and sucked less dick in college. (Yes. I went there.) Oh…I apologize. I forgot Barbie’s mouth doesn’t open. At least not the ones in this picture. Carry on!

CLOTHES: Oh look! Those poor ladies in the back even lost their clothes. Oh wait, they thought this was an episode of Barbies Gone Wild in Oakland Park.  That’s not really the fault of the government. I think we need to blame perverted pigs for that one.

Yeah. Here comes the 1% to show their support. They will be camping out in their plane of course. They would like it noted, their plane is three years old. They are not complete “rub it your face” tools.

There’s Ashley Tisdale and Corbin Bleu  (wearing something only a guy in Hollywood would) showing their support. They want to announce the next movie in the High School Musical Series called: What the Fuck Do We Do Now? Corbin is also showing his support for breast cancer awareness. Even though October was the month for this, he will happily grab any woman’s plastic or natural boobies, to make sure all is good.

And..there’s pretty boy Ken Doll, Justin Bieber, going at it in a bathroom with Maria Yeater.  Maria makes the claim she had 30 second (boy virgin) sex with him (must have been awesome) when he was 16 and she was 19 (Can we say statutory rape?). Her baby is now 3 months old and she claims Justin is the “baby daddy”, but said it was the baby of her ex-boyfriend John Terranova at first.

1. Can’t Selena Gomez use her magical powers and make this all go away?

2. Will Justin ever sing his ever popular “Baby” song again?

3. The new show on FOX, Terra Nova, now has new meaning to me.

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25 thoughts on “Occupy Oakland and Get Pregnant (Barbie style)

  1. No you didn’t! LMAO. Wow, I didn’t know they paint on Ken’s undies nowadays. And don’t you dare ask me why I noticed that!

    I think you are going to have to do a whole series on Barbie. Kind of like they did the “Debbie Does . . . ” flicks. And, no I would never watch pornos. I just heard about them somewhere.

    Marvelous Darling!

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  2. I had the most fun with this blog. It had to be the Barbies. I had them out on the front porch to give away, but now….I’m thinking (as you suggested), I have to keep them for myself. Perhaps, add to the collection.

    I so believe you on the pornos and I would never fucking curse.

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  3. So Barbie’s mouth doesn’t open, and the last time I heard Ken doesn’t have a dick. (Boodles has a couple of Barbies but no Kens as of yet) Sucks to be him…or does it?

    I’m glad that some of the privileged 1% Barbies have come out to support the 99%. After all, no matter how successful they’ve been (private planes, dream houses), they’re still subject to the corporations. Specifically Mattel.

    Re. the Bieber baby, I don’t believe a word of it. We’ll know the truth soon enough due to DNA, but have you seen the baby? No hair helmet. That’s all the proof you need. Besides, does Bieber sound like a man who’s ever…um…come in his life? It changes a man, physically and mentally. The first time I had sex I sounded like Barry White for a week.

    Also, if you look at Maria Yeater’s latest pictures, it looks like Selena has used her powers on her ***cough*** genital warts.

    You’re hilarious, and I second Miss D’s motion, more fun with Barbies.

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  4. I loved reading your reply. Yeah…I highly doubt Justin was with her, especially considering she said it was his first time. She must think a lot of herself.

    AND…..I think I will have to form a continued working relationship with the Barbies. See what I did! I just gave them all jobs.

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    1. Oh my gosh. Your email is justinb@________. Could it be you? The real Justin Bieber responding to my blog. AND…. if this is true. What’s a load of crap? You did have sex with her? It lasted more than 30 seconds? Or do you mean that there was an actual load of crap in the toilet?

      And seriously, Beaver? Kind of old school potty mouth, don’t you think? In light of what’s going on, you should change that to something more grown up, like carpet muncher.

      And…if you are just a crazed fan using his name as your own email address to try to get play….sorry you hated this, but maybe this blog is not for you.

      Thanks for stopping by.

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  5. Miss D sent me, and I’m glad she did. My first memory, actually, is of holding the feet of my sister Judy’s Barbie while our new puppy ate her head. So apparently you are my evil twin. Judging from this post, you are my far more evil twin, but I won’t go there. I did, however, thoroughly enjoy the post. Cudos to you and Miss D, and of course Justin. Because what would the world be like without such a girly-man!

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    1. I love Miss D and her bravery in sending someone my way.

      I’m so glad you took a chance and liked what you read. I say that Miss D is my sister, so certainly a twin would make our family even more fun.

      It would be a very sad place.

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      1. Well, I think she sent anyone who reads her your way. Of course, if that were MY readers, you know, zero X anything is still zero. But I suspect Miss D has a few readers.

        I thoroughly enjoyed this post. Now don’t disappoint me with the rest!

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    1. I’m honored. Glad your visit here was a good one. Love your blog!

      It’s seems I need to pay Miss Dee or send her something great. She is too kind sending you my way.

      You are amazing Miss Demure Restraint.

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