Greeting cards I’d love to send……….


Congratulations on your engagement!

They say all good things must come to an end.

Sorry you are sick.                                                                     

 I could tell by the way you’ve been looking lately.

I’ll still keep in touch.

You owe me money after all.

To the happy graduate.                                                             

Enjoy your free time.

They say good things come to those who wait.

Now that I’ve found you, I realized I haven’t waited long enough.

They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder.        

 It’s true. I’ve found lots of people who I’m fond of since you’ve been gone.

Good things come in small packages.

You should be very popular with the ladies.

Thanks for all you help.                                                            

You made my situation f@#*#ing  worse.

Sorry for your loss.

It’s nice to be rid of the bitch though. Don’t you think??!!??

Congrats on your baby news.                                                  

It’s funny. I never pictured anyone actually having sex with you.

I hope you get better.

Try rehab you damn drunk.

Graduation is a special day….                                                 

…..for those who will find employment.

Congratulations on your move.

Too bad it’s back into your parent’s basement.

You got the promotion. Awesome.                                       

 It’s looks like all that screwing and back stabbing worked out for you.

It’s a great day when a child arrives.

So enjoy that one day. It’s all you’ve got.

I love you.                                                                                   

But…..I love your bank account more.

Things will get better.

Just kidding. They won’t, but you felt good for a split second.

Happy Birthday!                                                                       

No one really gives a crap!

Happy Sweet Sixteen!

Try not to get pregnant.

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