Stupid Bitch

So…..I have been going through all my papers and I found a lot of very bitter crap. What a shocker! I found a poem or song…I’m really not sure . I’m assuming I wrote this during one of my sucky first marriage moments. I have a separate blog for poetry and short stories, but this just seemed to fit more on this blog.

Stupid bitch, stupid bitch

It’s your fault for believing that shit

You got the itch..had to have true love

Didn’t care that he wasn’t enough

You had your dreams

He had his escape

You kept giving and he would take

“I told you so” doesn’t seem to be enough

So damn blind in the name of love

You sit at home and wait for the phone

Stupid bitch…..stupid bitch

You are so damn stupid

Remember this

Here you are all alone

Nothing left, but an empty home

Suck it up…’re to blame

Gave your heart, it’s a crying shame

Stop crying…there’s no time

Life can’t wait  ’cause love is blind

Thinking…give it another try

Then you deserve to cry

Get cozy with the lies

Next time you get that itch

Remember…don’t be a stupid bitch

 This poem or whatever…proves that self loathing does not work. Afterall, I believe I stayed in that relationship for more years to come. I suffered from that horrific itch over and over again. I thought it was love, but now I know it was more than likely an STD passed on from all his lady friends.  I finally found that special cream to get that creepy itch to go away. I found it between sections “You screw more than a construction worker” and  “You tell more stories than hollywood”.

I have to laugh because I also found a brainstorming list  to a book I never wrote. Based on the contents,  I wrote it after meeting this man  and was so blinded with “love” that I thought I knew something about romance worth sharing.

So here it is with  my response to my 24-year-old self.

  • The Search (what to look for, what to avoid, where to go, where not to go, what to wear and how to behave)
  • Search Over? (how do you know, saying I love you, making the committment, engagement, planning wedding, reception, honeymoon, life forever)

First…I had to wipe the vomit off my shirt after typing and rereading this garbage. I seriously didn’t partake in drugs, but I sure sound like I’m high.

My mom was never around to give me advice and quite frankly, ill-equipped to do so. I can only think about what I would tell my own daughter, who is nine, and hopefully a long way from any type of romantic relationship.

The Search (what to look for, what to avoid, where to go, where not to go, what to wear and how to behave)……..Don’t look at all. Once you start looking for something, even if you never had it before, you begin to feel a loss. Then you become increasing desperate as time goes on and you don’t find love. You  look towards people and things to fill the void. You become a whore, an alcoholic, a drug addict…or worse…hooked on reality television. You  begin to act like a frantic crazy person. You stop practicing good hygiene and you try to come back home to live with your parents. Don’t look. Let love find you.  what to avoid…..Avoid anyone who lives in anyone’s basement. Don’t get hooked up with anyone who has someone else (mommy) paying their bills. Stay away from anyone who wears an overwhelming amount of cologne. There is something present worth covering up and you don’t want to find out what that is.  Momma’s boys seem sweet, but they will suck the life out of you. First, their mother will never accept you. You will always be a trashy, stupid bitch, and this I know from experience. Second, you will become their new momma. I hope you like doing everything for your man, because aside from wiping their ass, which you will probably do later, you will be their domestic slave. Bypass any man who thinks they are prettier than you. That’s just plain wrong. where and where not to go…… Basically, avoid the crack houses. Of course….if you are there, then you must be on crack too and you would deserve a crack companion. If you get on crack…you are on your own. No advice for you! what to wear and how to behave….Wear clothes and keep them on. Don’t be a stupid bitch.
Search Over? (how do you know, saying I love you, making the committment, engagement, planning wedding, reception, honeymoon, life forever)……..This section is easier. how do you know….You don’t know. You never know until one of you screws up royally. Then based on what was done and if the injured party stays……you know. saying I love you…..Unless you know several different languages that your partner understands….I suggest just saying it, but in person. Don’t try to tweet, email, call, pass a note or go through a friend. Also, don’t say it when either of you are drunk or during or after sex. Buzz Kill! making the committment and the  engagement…..Don’t pick a wedding date that is a holiday or already significant to you in any way. It will only piss you off if you end up getting a divorce.   Don’t go into debt getting a ring  either. It’s not worth it. Matching t-shirts are a much better deal. planning wedding, reception and honeymoon…..Spend what you like sweetie. The father of the bride has to pick up that tab. As far as the honeymoon goes……I don’t want to know. life forever…..Unless you are going to end up in some cryogenic lab, there is no forever. Just remember this: If it doesn’t work out, my door is always open to very short-term visits.

12 thoughts on “Stupid Bitch

  1. And being able to look back at LIFE and laugh at the times that use to make you feel crazy… what growing older is really all about. Everyones perspective is different – but I always enjoyed your spin on things. 🙂


    1. I doubt that. I know several of them by name, but I’m not allowed to use them. If we started a Stupid Bitch Club, I don’t think we could keep up with the membership. Hey… making scheme. Can we charge membership dues? We’d be loaded.

      The fact that you know you “were” or “are” one means you have a brain in your head, which is obvious by your blog.


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