Weekly Photo Challenge: Down


As usual……in true Lorre fashion.

Dedicated to: Red and Elyse

(true Barbie lovers)

Going DOWN

Knock DOWN

Stay DOWN

 Don’t get caught with your pants down, especially with someone else’s Barbie or Ken.

Barbie and Her Eggs


My friend finally brought me into the current times and showed me how to post my videos. It’s what my Barbie Blog shoud’ve been. I will post again today so those of you who have seen this don’t feel cheated.

 

Celebrity News: Kids, Conspiracy Theories and Dolly


Top Celebrity News:

Angelina and Brad

 Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are very upset and concerned about the “Occupy” protests that are still going on all around the world.  They hate being known as Mr. and Mrs. 1% and vowed to become a part of the 99%.

Together, they have adopted 3 children. They will continue to adopt children from impoverished lands until they have 96 more kids. 99 adopted children, who grew up with nothing, should put them in the 99% and with the huge tax deductions they will claim for having such a large family…they hope to get money back.

Michael Moore will be following the power couple for his new, yet controversial documentary,  Womb Raider.

Sacagawea and JFK Hanging Out

The police have decided to reopen the Natalie Wood case. The death of the actress in 1981, was ruled as an accidental drowning. New information has been brought to light, leading to a new investigation.
JFK stopped golfing in heaven to demand some fucking justice for himself. He understands that West Side Story was pretty decent and he gave Natalie props once she joined him in the big sky. BUT….he was the damn President of the United States! Movies and books about his death are super entertaining, but how about we pretend we didn’t pin it all on Harvey and keep on digging? JFK admits that he has been cranky since Jackie showed up and banned him from sleeping with Natalie, but still……………………….
Sacagawea has also decided that she would like an investigation into her death. She is pretty pissed about all the smack talk going around that she left her husband for another man, had a family and lived to 123. Who does that? AND…….Her husband was very abusive and controlling. Died at 24 from some “putrid fever” my ass. Lewis and Clark don’t know shit.

Dolly and Her Twins

Dolly Parton was arrested for failure to appear in  court after piling up tickets for various traffic violations.
1. Driving under the influence of plastic surgery.
2. Driving with an obstructed view, due to her heavy-handed eye makeup.
3. Driving while her “double front” airbags were deployed.

Whose a Rotten Egg? (Barbie style….)


Here’s to all the women, who are old and foolish, like me….have another child, don’t have another child, drink some more alcohol? Whatever! We’re only as old as we feel it’s said, but our eggs might say otherwise.

Barbie Has Good Eggs

Ken met Barbie
They fell head over heels
Proposed marriage, bought a house
Started to pile up bills
Barbie was a good wife
Ken was happy to get laid
It happened…Barbie got pregnant
She was young with good eggs

Barbie Has Old Eggs

Barbie grew older
Faded makeup and fat
Screwing a mom with twins
Was not Ken’s new bag
Barbie was sad her eggs got old
Ken took his looks and fled the scene
With Tasha the hooker and……….
Cheerleader Maxine

Barbie Has Broken-Dead Eggs

Eventually, Barbie lost the weight
Got “plastic” surgery and glammed up
She decided to have another baby
Before her clock just gave up
Alas, it was way too late
Her eggs were broken and dead
No babies just menopause
And….. a chalk outline instead

Barbie Dreams of Eggs

Why, oh why
Can’t good eggs fall from the sky
Like the ones I dream of
Nestled between my skinny plastic thighs
I know Ken is gone
Fuck him, I have a plan
My doctor and “toy” collection
Substitutes for that pathetic man
If God gives you broken eggs…..make scrambled eggs. OR…..something like that!

http://youtu.be/uM1Wtzs5h6w

The above link goes to a video I tried to create with a new program I have. I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing, but I gave it a shot. It wouldn’t upload to this blog, so you get what you get.

Occupy Oakland and Get Pregnant (Barbie style)


WELL, maybe not at the same time. There is some pretty big news going around these days…….Penn State, protestors, and Bieber Fever at the maternity ward. For obvious reasons, I will not portray the Penn State scandal, which is beyond disgusting and upsetting. BUT…….. How about the other two?

 This is a scene from Occupy Oakland (encampment). These poor Barbies are in a lot of pain. They say they will camp out until their fight against the government and “big bad” corporations is won. I suspect they will be camping out until their painted on makeup has long disappeared and their fake flesh starts rotting. They are pretty upset that the government has taken so much from them:

HOMES: They were never going to live in that Barbie Dream House paying their own mortgage. They definitely think they are too good for the Barbie Camper. Regardless of their luck, they were going to live with mommy and daddy for as long as they could.  On that note, some of them have been kicked out by their parents because they refuse to work in the retail or food industry, due to being stuck-up, ungrateful, entitled snots. They just happened upon the protest and needed a place to crash. They have no idea why they are protesting. We can blame Mattel for a bit of this. They no longer make the Barbie McDonald’s. They are too busy making Barbie recording studios and makeup centers. Way to keep with the times. Okay. Big corporation is responsible for that one.

JOBS: They never had one and they blame the economy. Maybe you shouldn’t have majored in Romantic Literature in this day and age…dumbass! Maybe you should have had less beer and sucked less dick in college. (Yes. I went there.) Oh…I apologize. I forgot Barbie’s mouth doesn’t open. At least not the ones in this picture. Carry on!

CLOTHES: Oh look! Those poor ladies in the back even lost their clothes. Oh wait, they thought this was an episode of Barbies Gone Wild in Oakland Park.  That’s not really the fault of the government. I think we need to blame perverted pigs for that one.

Yeah. Here comes the 1% to show their support. They will be camping out in their plane of course. They would like it noted, their plane is three years old. They are not complete “rub it your face” tools.

There’s Ashley Tisdale and Corbin Bleu  (wearing something only a guy in Hollywood would) showing their support. They want to announce the next movie in the High School Musical Series called: What the Fuck Do We Do Now? Corbin is also showing his support for breast cancer awareness. Even though October was the month for this, he will happily grab any woman’s plastic or natural boobies, to make sure all is good.

And..there’s pretty boy Ken Doll, Justin Bieber, going at it in a bathroom with Maria Yeater.  Maria makes the claim she had 30 second (boy virgin) sex with him (must have been awesome) when he was 16 and she was 19 (Can we say statutory rape?). Her baby is now 3 months old and she claims Justin is the “baby daddy”, but said it was the baby of her ex-boyfriend John Terranova at first.

1. Can’t Selena Gomez use her magical powers and make this all go away?

2. Will Justin ever sing his ever popular “Baby” song again?

3. The new show on FOX, Terra Nova, now has new meaning to me.