Born Into Darkness


Born into darkness

Chaotic DNA

The storm

She’s my mother

My father

Faraway

No light to follow

Just broken glass

Creeping

Toes tipped

The nightmares

Get past

Tracker disabled

To no avail

Something

It’s pulling

The ripcord

It failed

So utterly true

Undeniably stuck

The connection

Too long

Who knows

Just dumb luck

Then the blindness

Pounds repetition

If not now

When

Escape

This condition

…..Can’t stay to seek

…..Their fleeting permission

Born into darkness

Chaotic DNA

The storm

She’s my mother

My father

Faraway

Taking my bow before the intervention takes place.


Apparently, Twindaddy isn’t doing such a hot job of hiding his crack addiction. How do I know? Well……He gave me the ABC Award. That’s how. Awesome Blog Content! Seriously?

Clearly, only a crack addict would think such nonsense. But hey……..You gotta be loved by somebody, right??!!??

Per this award, one has to list (by alphabet) things that are relevant to them. I’m sure I’m supposed to pass this on to others, but I suck at getting awards now.

In the beginning of blogging, I was all like: “OMG! How do I get one of those awards?” and then it was like “OMG! Someone gave me an award. I’m going to put out a rocking post to thank them and pay it forward.” and then it became “OMFG!!! I can’t keep up with this shit. I can barely get my brain to put out a semi-shitless post, let alone another acceptance piece.” and now it’s like “Thank the fucking lord everyone knows I’m a slackass and they barely bother to read my stuff, let alone praise me for it.”

It’s not that I don’t appreciate the thought, but I’m a slacker with reciprocating. Kind of like some people with oral sex!

Please go to STUPHBLOG and read 26 Things to see who else his cracked-out self passed the award to.

So…..Before the intervention takes place, he gets cleans and takes this away from me, I better get on with the getting on. Here are the 26 things relevant to my life currently.

A: Avocados (Great!)

B: Bacon (I wish I could eat it 24/7.)

C: Cute One (He rocks!)

D: Divorce (1. Great babysitter.  2. Great therapy.   3. Great weight loss plan.)

E: Evenings (Things finally settle down and I can relax.)

F: Friends (Enough said!)

G: God (Shocking, but true!)

H: Hubby (We’re forever, like herpes.)

I: Intercourse (…with hubby)

J: Java (IV please!)

K: Karma (It’s a bitch! I watch it in others like a train wreck.)

L: Laughter (It’s like breathing.)

M: Mysteries (books, shows or movies.)

N: Narcissists (Entertaining poison we can’t eradicate, yet.)

O: Orgasms (Note the “s” at the end. I love my husband.)

P: Poetry (Word Therapy)

Q: Quality (My absolute favorite word….meaning and sound.)

R: Randomness (The kids keep me guessing and on my toes.)

S: Strength Training (My weekly routine I can’t do without.)

T: Things 1, 2 and 3 (Tax deductions!)

U: United States (Well….I live in it and it’s pretty cool mostly.)

V: Vacation (Two days from now, I’ll be cruising.)

W: Writing (Love, love, love it, even if I don’t always do it.)

X: XM Radio (My music. My way.)

Y: You (Yeah you. Thanks for reading this.)

Z: Zoo…..I live in one.

So…..Those are my relevant things. I don’t know if I shocked or amazed you, but I did hold you hostage for a bit, and that’s pretty cool.

Sorry about not passing this on, but I’ve never been good at sharing the bottle. Please give this award to yourself! We can change the meaning to Absolute Blog Crazy if you like mine. Guilty pleasure or your version of a train wreck? I don’t care, as long as you’re here.

And……Sorry for being a selfish blog lover. I promise to reciprocate. I just want to make sure I’m able to properly swallow all of the words first. It would be humiliating to choke on them.

Weekly Photo Challenge: Future Tense


Scrabble Photo 001

This is the future, but also right now.

You aren’t welcome back, no way, no how.

No open arms and no open doors.

It’s clear to all, if it wasn’t before.

You are damaged and toxic, with no moral code.

Picking on children at your age. How bold!

We understand your life sucks pretty hard.

But that’s your fault, so don’t throw crap in our yard.

Haters hate and you are no exception.

I’m pretty sure it started at your conception.

If you’re still in the dark, let me turn on the light.

Without you around, the future is bright.

(Word to your mother…..)

 

Facehooking: Quickie or Bust


I haven’t been around much lately. NOT much blogging and not much/if any blog reading. BUT……My Facebook friends have seen too much of me lately.

imagesCA0ZU4XD (Thanks Google Images)

WHY No Bloggie?

  • I enrolled in an online training course. I have a year to complete this, but I am trying to finish in 6 months. Momma is looking for a paycheck.
  • I am now a coach for the Special Olympics. I know, right??!!?? What the hell were they thinking?
  • I’m thinking of writing other things.( need to send to a beautiful Red person) Seriously…..I am spending a lot of time thinking.
  • I started Zumba classes. Let the laughter begin.
  • I suck at time management.
  • When I have free time: I try to have sex. And if he’s home…..my spouse is included.  I try to sleep. I bathe and spend time putting on and taking off clothing, but mostly for myself.

SO……..WHY  do I have time for Facehooking you ask? You probably didn’t ask , but we’re going to pretend you give a fuck.

imagesCAKBZHB4(Thanks Google Images)

WHY BE a Facehooker?

  • The money is good. Oh……Sorry. Wrong hooking job came to mind.
  • I can quickly and mindlessly tab over while studying online.
  • I get a bit of a blog fix. BUT……Only a speck.

Here’s some crap I’ve put on Facebook in my blog absence.

imagesCAIXRBX0(Thanks Google Images)

STATUS UPDATES:

  • FaceHookers: It’s a personal choice, but I personally can’t wrap my brain around the buffet of men’s facial hair. Seriously…I look at your mouth and feel violated. Did I just walk into some chick’s appointment for a much needed landscape/wax job? Oh no, it’s just your lips moving creepily inside a disturbing display of hair follicles. (My ex inspired this one. He has some goatee-mustache smashup going on. Also, he dyed his growth black to cover his gray, which is interesting, since that is not his original hair color. Needless to say…….He is bald up top, so this growth around his mouth looks like a hairy vagina.)
  • Zumba Observations:
    Wearing jeans to class…..Really?
    What’s with doing zumba with a blow pop in your mouth? Is it a test to see if you can perform BJs while on the dance floor? (I honestly thought she was smoking at first. Clearly, the decision to go to an exercise class was made after she got dressed and left the house.)
  • Hey, people in love, who claim they fell at first sight?
    Good thing your love had a personality to back up the visual. OR……Wouldn’t you have felt silly? (This shit cracks me up. First sight….That means visual you bitches. Let’s just say our shallow self lucked out on this one.)
  • Ann Coulter looks and sounds like an over-aged shot girl, who drank all the profits. Listening to her unintelligent ramblings/inaccuracies makes it clear how she got in and graduated from law school. (She can stick the ‘R” word up her ass.)
  • My son, looking out for the taxpayers: “Why does Cowboy always have to go to court? Can’t he stop arresting people and just throw them in the river?” (He’s going to be a fucking politician.)
  • SEX PLAN for (not-so-newly) Married Men:
    Set Mood: Do/Help with mundane chores around house. (We hate them too)
    Foreplay: Don’t argue with us. (We know when we’re wrong. We just don’t want you to tell us.)
    Main Event: Must last longer than the time it took for you to take off/pull down your pants. Don’t grunt and don’t shout yes as if we asked you a question.
    Afterwards: Go away. Spooning feels like a hot flash. We need to sleep, watch t.v or get on FB. (Enough said.)
  • When the world comes crashing down on you, just know that I’m here……thinking……”I’m glad I wasn’t standing beside you.” (Possible fortune cookie submission?)
  • Talking to Thing 3 and Thing’s Friend:
    Friend: (not happy) We have to healthy lunches because of Mrs. Obama
    Thing 3: Yeah. The pizza isn’t good.
    Me: Kids in America have serious health issues…(blah, blah, blah) We didn’t have any of the stuff you all have. We played outside.
    Thing 3: Well you had those big cell phones right?
    Me: No. And…..only the 3 channels on our TV. The shows went from toons, to news, games shows, soaps, news again and primetime.
    Friend: I can’t hear anymore of this. You are freaking me out.
    Thing 3: Maybe we should play outside?
    Friend: Outside is boring. There’s no electronic part to it. (If you don’t like healthy food, you might want to seriously reconsider having Mrs. Obama stay in the White House for 4 more years.)
  • SO ……I’m almost to the kid’s school and I’m thinking….”I can go over 20mph. After all, I’m not taking my seatbelt off just to lift my shirt in the zone and show my tits.”  (It’s a loophole.)

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA         (Thanks Google Images)

  • Constructive criticism is great in theory, but when your kid won’t listen, sometimes you just have to say: “Your project looks like butt!” (Tough love. That’s what being a parent is all about.)
  • If The Cute One despised me, then last night, instead of waking up crying for me……he would’ve woken up and thought……”There is no way I’m calling out for that crazy b*$%!”…….It could’ve been a win-win. (Sleep rocks!)

Life Scream


It’s designed just to piss you off

To  confuse

To depress

To control

To break

It’s a teaser, a trick

Screw you and your mind-fuck

What a prick

Just a bitch of a time warp

Keep it straight

Lay down low

Stand up tall

Wait your turn

It’s a jump in the line

With these rules to ride

Lost my mind

It’s limited and flawed

No guarantee

No returns

No playback

No seconds

Curses wrapping the dream

That’s some strange shit

Now……I’ll scream

(11/03/2012….Lorre)

4-Letter Word: I’m not a fan of unless…..


In places near
And places far

You may be revered
As a shining star
I picture you dressed
Feathers and tar?
Let’s get WD-40
To raise your bar
Please allow me this time
To be uncomfortably blunt

Let’s design and apply
A language shunt
To redirect
Your pompous stunt
That makes you the lead
In the role of cunt

imagesCAKHXERP

Weekly Photo Challenge: BIG


By: Disassociated Press-on-Nails

NO WHERE IMPORTANT — One of the Big Tobacco companies is set to release it’s new line of cigarettes, Marlbooro, just in time for Halloween. The name was a stroke of genius, implying the obvious. These cigarettes are scary as shit.  “With the need to be the leader in this market, it was time to roll out a new line,” said head cancer stick designer, Mr. Black Lung. He went on to explain the creative thinking behind the new line. “It was time for us to make a statement to America and the rest of the world. We care about the economy! We care about the people. We care about healthcare!”

Big Tobacco Cigarettes

Apparently, this company wants to make an impact. We talked in length with the CIO (Chief Idiot Officer) to find out how they were going to do this.

  • Bulk packaging/product will allow a lower price-point and keep more loyal cigarette smokers……addicted.
  • Bigger product will give the “in your face” buying reaction needed to create new smokers.
  • The larger cigarette will ease the psychological guilt of “two packs a day” smokers, since smoking one of these cigarettes is now the equivalent.
  • Car companies will be forced to hire more employees to keep up with the interior design demands of the “Super-Sized” cigarette smoker.
    • More head/arm space
    • New ashtrays
    • New window design for dumping ashes
  • Technology companies will be out to create the cigarette holding/smoking version of the Bluetooth device.
  • Fashion designers will be out in masses, creating less flammable fabrics and improving clothing design, so the product can be carried.
  • Makers of toothpaste, perfumes and quit smoking products will have an immediate increase in sales.
  • Police officers can hand out more tickets for littering, since you can’t miss this baby flying out of your window.
  • More fire and rescue personnel will be hired due to the inevitable increase in forest and home fires.
  • Healthcare jobs are secure and increasing with this product. That is a given.
  • Psychological and Emotional needs will be satisfied with this product.
    • Prisoners will do anything for one of these, so coöperation should be on the rise.
    • This would be a status symbol for men. Bigger is better.
    • The ladies will surely improve their chances of being taken home….or somewhere. Who doesn’t want the girl with this in her mouth?

Per the CIO, “There is no greater pleasure than introducing this product. We feel like pioneers. You know, like the ones that ended up killing a bunch of folks.”