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Tag Archives: sometimes you need to vent like a sailor

Engaged in foreplay and I had no clue.

16 Jun

OMG! This is an awkward follow-up to my earlier posting Outsourcing scams to India: Would they sound sweeter with Bollywood Music?   Read First!!!!

NOW…….There was not supposed to be a follow-up, but those mothers called me back again. They are relentless. I could have just hung up, but I wanted to ask them some more questions to frustrate them. SO……..The call was very similar to the first one in the beginning.

WARNING…….It ain’t pretty and it ain’t censored.

The conversation was like the other one until everything I said was met with:

Scammer: Just go to your computer ma’am and I will fix it.

Lorre: Your customer service sucks. You keep telling me what to do, but you won’t answer any of my questions. I’m not going to sit at my computer and do anything until you tell me what is wrong and what will happen if I don’t fix it.

Scammer: Ma’am, hold on. I get my super. Hold on.

Scammer Boss: Ma’am. Your computer has been sending us errors messages. Just sit at your computer and do what we tell you.

Lorre: Your customer service is crap too. Stop telling me what I should do and answer my questions.  How long has my computer been sending you these messages?

(after several times of rephrasing the same question…this is what I got in return)

Scammer Boss: Since you bought it.

Lorre: Since I bought it?

Scammer Boss: Yes.

Lorre: Well, I don’t need you to fix it then. I’ll just return it. I should just return it right?

Scammer Boss: Yes.

Lorre: Okay. So I will return it. What is the name of your company so I can tell them who said my computer was malfunctioning?

Scammer Boss: Ma’am. Just return it and when you get a new one, we’ll call back for your computer problem.

Lorre: But if I get a new one, why will I have a problem? So what is the name of your company again?

Scammer Boss: Okay. Don’t return it. We fix it.

Lorre: Okay. You want me to give you access to my computer and then you will fix it.

Scammer Boss: No. We will not have access.

Lorre: So….I’m not going to put in some commands and then you will have control of my computer and be able to download things.

Scammer Boss: Well yes we will. We will have a Microsoft technician go in and fix it.

Lorre: First of all. No! You aren’t from Microsoft and I’m not letting you in my computer so you can put malware on it, viruses or get my personal info. I’m not a dumbass.

Scammer Boss: Ma’am this is very important. You need to sit down to your computer and listen. This problem is very serious. Now go sit at your computer!

Lorre: I know this is a scam and again….take me off your damn list. This is the second call today.

Scammer Boss: This is an important call about your computer. Just sit down so we tell you the problem!

Lorre: I already wrote about you on the internet once today. I guess I’ll have to do it again.

(Then he said something I couldn’t understand.)

Lorre: Excuse me.

Scammer Boss: I fuck you.

Lorre: What!?!

Scammer Boss: I fuck you. I fuck you tonight.

Lorre: You sick mother fucker! My husband would blow your fucking head off.

Scammer Boss: Oh yeah, well I fuck you. I fuck you.

Lorre: You wish you sick son of a bitch! You’d be fucking dead! (He is saying something, but I’m yelling over him.) You pathetic piece of shit with your crappy ass job! Con artist! Great fucking career choice dumbass. Go fuck yourself tonight you goddamn loser!

HANG UP!!!!!

Wow…..I don’t know about you, but someone needs a cold shower!

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