I’m going to let someone else entertain you today. I’d like to breakdown your brain cells by exposing you to my inappropriate friend Stirling and his equally damaged partner in comedy.
Wild Mullet Kingdom: Episode 1 “The Capture” (Uncensored)
Tag Archives: humor
Elf on the Shelf, amongst other things.
6 DecAs I work tirelessly, in and out of my mind on things, please enjoy this moment.
Presented by my slut of an elf (Sammy).
The gift of giving…..it to them.
Elfin magic at it’s best.
My New Blog
26 Nov
Since I’m doing such a great job on this blog: writing daily posts, reading and commenting in a timely manner, visiting and commenting on other blogs regularly, selling ice to the Eskimos, selling electric blankets to Satan……..I’ve decided to create a new blog.
It’s going to be hard to believe, but I love posting pics of my son on Facebook. I’m just one of those moms, except sarcastic, humorous captions always follow. I also like to create mini-stories with his pics. So……..A friend of mine suggested I take it out of the FB world and create a blog. I think she just didn’t want to see that crap anymore, but whateverthefuck.
Here it is:
Flash in the Pan: “Finish Line Crawler”
2 OctWord: IDEA (150 word max)
Mr. Wolf was a real bully. He didn’t have any friends, and his family disowned him. Supposedly, he ate some old lady in the next county over, which isn’t frowned upon if one is starving, but it was a domestic dispute. There were rumors about her granddaughter and a restraining order.
Mr. Wolf had no social life, on account of the fact that no one wanted to be social with him. Therefore, he had plenty of time for career planning. He took some business courses and attended “get rich quick” seminars. Eventually, he got into real estate. He bought up most of the town and became a slumlord. Life was pretty good, until those damned little pigs came to town. Then, he got an idea, which would lead to a whole world of trouble for Mr. Wolf.
This was inspired by M3 Flash Challenge. This piece contains 137 words.
Word: DINNER (125 word max)
I should’ve paid more attention. Perhaps then, I could’ve cheated death.
From the first moment of takeoff, everything was perfect. I was caressing the air and gliding with ease. I forgot the dangers of flying.
First, I flew upside down, then sideways. Suddenly, while in the middle of my triple loop, I felt myself losing control. Fear grew inside of me as I neared the lava-like liquid below. Once in, I would surely be a goner.
I hit! The heat danced around me with no escape. My skin bubbled as the scalding liquid ate through me. It was sheer torture, and I knew it would be over soon. I was being cooked alive in someone’s dinner. Why did I have to be born a fly?
This was inspired by M3 Flash Challenge. This piece contains 125 words.
Weekly Photo Challenge : Wrong (and to many, undeniably offensive)
15 AugTruthfully though, they are all intertwined.
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TOPLESS TUESDAY
8 May
Yes. This was a shameless and (if you are reading this now..) successful attempt to get people to check out a post with minimal effort on my part.
Enjoy the raciness, while I work on something with a little more substance, but only a little.
Haiku Sunday: Easter
8 AprEaster is now here
Christ and egg hunts do not mix
Candy cross children?
We missed church today
The kids do not understand
Bunnies rule today
Let’s celebrate life
With yellow marshmallow chicks
For death we roast them
Thanks for the rise dude
Hallmark is your biggest fan
You should make them tithe
Don’t Read This Blog
29 MarDon’t read this blog. I don’t deserve your time
I’ve become quite lazy and can’t seem to give up mine.
Have I read anyone else or commented at all?
Hell no. I’m a selfish bitch and that’s not all.
I’ve received a few awards from lovely bloggers.
I haven’t followed through. I’m an award hogger.
Worse than that, I’m a hoarder of blogger stuff.
Everyone I follow is in Google Reader. It’s piling up.
If Google collapses, you can blame that on me.
I’m sure Occupy is my fault too and maybe some STDs.
I truly am sorry I’ve become such a fucking lazy ass.
Buying this car, but I can’t put in the gas.
I promise to visit when I am willing and able.
When I’m done being a jackass, if we must give it a label.
Scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours.
This has been proven false. I’m a bad blog whore.
Whores get around and I can’t even manage to tease
I’ll spread my blog legs soon and get back to spreading comment disease.
