It’s designed just to piss you off
It’s a teaser, a trick
Screw you and your mind-fuck
What a prick
Just a bitch of a time warp
Keep it straight
Lay down low
Stand up tall
Wait your turn
It’s a jump in the line
With these rules to ride
Lost my mind
It’s limited and flawed
Curses wrapping the dream
That’s some strange shit
OKAY………So I debated about this post for a bit. Sorry to go all juvenile on you guys, but it must be done. In the past two years, I’ve had to deal with a few people unraveling……….0 to 60 for no clear reason. If I thought my health insurance would cover it, I’d get the magnet removed that causes the attraction. Let me clear things up for several people.
I am not responsible if your family gets murdered.
My husband and I are not swingers. BUT…..….If we were, sorry…….You two are not our type.
I believe people should pay their debts, even if you owe a millionaire money.
It’s poor form to grab my husband’s crotch and act like it was an accident.
Stealing someone’s property is ILLEGAL!
I exercise to stay in shape, not to piss you off.
Sending my hubby messages via Facebook and/or phone is unwise.
Make no mistake, my husband is on my side.
I heard you did me a favor by being my friend. Gee……Thanks!
Not everything is about you.
I’ve only posted about one (the Despicable One). Up until this post, you’ve just been feeding into your own paranoia.
No one gets to mess with my kids without some backlash.
I don’t care how drunk someone is. I don’t like people grabbing my breasts.
Coming into my home and being mean to my friends, is beyond uncool.
Before you start calling people names, you should really look up the definitions of the words you use.
My kids can hear their sailor talk from me, but thanks for the free language arts lesson.
Your world is very small, but mine isn’t.
I love drama, but only on the stage.
Heavy drinking is not my idea of socializing. I have a life and a liver to protect.
My husband’s tolerance of your disrespect for him, doesn’t make him a wimp…….it makes him a gentleman.
It’s okay to close the bridge without feeling like you have to set it on fire.
We share a different idea of success and a different set of values.
Most of the problems we’ve had……….are all in your head.
We will never be friends again, but I wish you the best………because that’s how I roll!
Shocking as it may seem………I am not a fan of cop killing, gay bashing or racist songs. To be blunt, they seem pretty fucking unnecessary to me. OH……….Did I fail to mention how ignorant they are? I suppose there are people, who think these songs are super cool and badass, but there are also people who eat their boogers, even into adulthood. Just sayin’!
Perhaps I would have more respect for these artists……….SORRY…….…I had to throw up in my mouth a little…….…if the lyrics were more honest.I mean, why do you really want to kill cops? Let’s be honest. It’s because you want to do various horrible, immoral and illegal things. Some of these things may include: rape, murder, beatings, robbery, drug dealing…….and so on and so forth. You want to do these things and be left alone. Sorry! I guess life isn’t fair. Didn’t your momma teach you that? Perhaps you should sing songs about the lawmakers as well. After all, they may have something to do with the laws the police are supposed to enforce. And how about the President of the United States? I suppose he endorses your behavior? Why not write song lyrics about your grandma? Unless you think she approves of your behavior. Oh……and for those who feel they are justified because of some kind of police brutality…….I have never heard a song naming Officer John Doe. The “brotherhood” does not mean every officer is accountable for another officer’s actions. If my sibling screws someone over…….WELL……It ain’t my fault. Seriously! So stop calling me!
AND……..How about you homophobes? Is it really necessary to announce to the world how you feel about sexual orientations other than those that are heterosexual. Screams out insecurity to me. What are you afraid of? Rejection??!!??
AND LASTLY……..Does the world need to know you are an ignorant racist? I’m referring to all the shades of racism.
Since these songs seem to be so popular among a limited “so smart they seem stupid” audience, I think we should expand. I think we should have songs about hating the dentist. Let’s face it……..going to the dentist sucks. How about slurs against the Disney Channel for running shows that make our children think parents don’t really exist? I’m currently writing a song about killing stirrup pants. Lord knows, we don’t need to bring those back. Here are some other ideas we can rage about:
- eating vegetables
- brushing our teeth
- washing our hands
- putting the toilet seat down
- calling someone after you sleep with them
- pretending you like your in-laws
Let me know if anyone can come up with some really incredible song lyrics!
SO…….I had great plans when I started this blog. Let me go over some of them.
- Workout/Lose Weight: I have stepped up my game and lost some weight, but that isn’t hard when stepping it up means getting your ass off the couch a few more times than usual. I’m still staying up way too late, which has kicked my metabolism in the ass.
- Cut Down on Drinking: This means alcohol of course. I was never an alcoholic, but I sure loved to drink my heavy calorie and sugary blends. Doing better! I am on to beer water as most of you know. BUT…….The drinking socially thing is still an issue. I have cut the sugar drinks out, lowered the alcohol content and the calories……BUT…..The frequency of events to attend: parties, friendly dinners, bullshit celebrations (made up ones) and “the kids drive me crazy” reflection nights have not helped matters. With the social drinking, comes social eating, social ass seating and social staying up late. AND……..As stated before, none of these are good.
- Write: I started a blog, two, then three……as an outlet. I needed to get back on the horse (so to speak), although I can ride one. The blog was to get my feet wet again, so I could work on writing projects I started pre-kids. This has not happened due to the overwhelming time (when I have it) it seems to take: writing, commenting, reading other blogs….blah, blah, blah……..
- Work with/therapy for my son and remember I have 3 others: Well, if I am spending my time doing the above…..I’m not working as much as I should with my son or spending enough quality time with my kids.
I know I’m my own person with dreams…..blah, blah, blah……but I am a mom/wife first. This is my choice and what I signed up for. I’m not saying I live my life for others, but I’m not going to half-ass it and end up having my kids write shit about me one day, or my husband. At least, not if I can help it. When they are gone (not the husband), then I get 100% of the time for myself. For now, the time needs to be split, with them getting the lion’s share. Maybe I would have turned out better if someone used that plan with me!
AND……Let’s face it. No one benefits from a mom/wife who weighs so much, she can’t get off the computer chair without huffing and puffing or one that falls off the chair from party exhaustion or over-consumption of beer water…….SO…….Keeping in shape is a top priority.
Writing/Blogging is for me and it will have to wait for a convenient time. This may mean a few times a week, or a few times a month. Who knows? I sure don’t.
STANDBY FOR FURTHER DEVELOPMENTS!