Hey sicko! This blog is not for you.

Okay….So I was looking over my stats for the past week and focused my attention to the search terms. Certain words or phrases are typed into a search engine and low and behold, my blog is discovered. This is normally a great thing, being discovered and all, but not lately. You see….Some really disturbing searches were made. I like to be creative and perhaps a bit insane with my follow through. I had an idea to take a photo of my kids tied up, with mouths taped. That is how I wanted to execute my idea of what I enjoy celebrating. That post received quite a few hits and this is why:

SEARCH TERMS USED: boys tied up, kids tied up, tying up kids, chaining up boys, sweet boys and young boys bound

Besides that fact that this sickens me, I really don’t know what else to say except…………………….. 

I don’t know who you are

Or even where you live

But what you are

Leaves me no room to forgive

I don’t care if it’s a sickness

Or you’re in therapy

I have children

You’re my natural-born enemy

I don’t want you to “Like” me

Comment or follow

I don’t need the attention

Of a heart that’s hollow

You’re lucky you’re anonymous

And can’t be hunted down

Get the hell off my blog

I don’t want you around

I pray you’re found out

Before these actions leave your mind

Locked up forever

Where prisoners hate your kind

This is where my troubles began: http://articlesofabsurdity.com/2011/12/09/weekly-photo-challenge-celebration/

Go ahead with your own life, leave me alone.

This blog post goes out to a special person, who had a snag occur in her life and wants nothing more but to move on. It seems that people who know her, or rather, think they know her, want to weigh in on when, if and how she can move on. Keep in mind: She didn’t ask for anyone’s opinion!

It’s amazing how people think they can tell you (meaning any of us), in the form of a very strong opinion, how you should go ahead with your life. BUT…. At least it’s more direct than the people who smile to your face and then gossip behind your back about your choices in life. AND…. Its multiple people with various connections who do this. It isn’t just family. It’s friends, co-workers, acquaintances and the “rubberneckers”. The latter, are the ones who seem to conveniently pop up when something buzz worthy occurs. Otherwise, they have better things to do. AND….. It isn’t just tragedy or hard times that spark a judgment from someone. It seems any life change brings out the amateur counselors in droves. It seems the advice flows fast when you dare to ask for it, but if you don’t ask, it becomes judgment and gossip for all the buzzards around town to eat up. Now, I’m guessing that those handing out the unwanted advice, strong opinions and judgment, could use a little themselves and make some changes. No one is so put together that they can run your life. If it wasn’t so infuriating, it would be fucking hilarious.

So…. people who can’t shut it, stop chiming in on matters (where unwelcome) about:

  • Dating: Maybe we should dissect your dating history. Who are you to say who someone should or should not go out with?
  • Marriage: Have you even been married? If so, is your record squeaky clean? Are you flawless?
  • Matchmaking: If you were that good at it, you would have your own agency.
  • Kids: Being a parent is hard enough. Worry about your own or go have some and then worry about them.
  • Job: Last time I checked, you didn’t pay my bills.
  • Housekeeping: If you don’t like it. Don’t come over.
  • Appearance: Believe it or not. The world doesn’t wake up and worry about dressing pretty for you. And reality check: You may not be everyone’s cup of tea either.
  • Any Life Choice: The key to it all is the word MY (meaning again, any of us)…. My Life, My Choice, My Success, My Mistake, My Regret and My Moment…..Good or bad, right or wrong, it belongs to you and no one can take that away. No one should even try.

You’re the driver. Don’t give up the wheel, whether voluntarily or through a carjacking, unless you want to end up in someone else’s vision of who you should be. AND….. Once you do that, you’re screwed. You will end up in some undisclosed location with an empty tank of gas, a bunch of empty fast food wrappers in the back seat, and a speeding ticket from the driver, because you owe them. Afterall, they got you where they thought you needed to be as quickly as possible. You should be grateful.

Maybe we should feel sorry for these folks. Perhaps someone tried to drive their car too many times, so they are lashing out. Regardless, get your damn hands off my wheel. Get your ass out of my seat and step out of the vehicle. Backseat driving is also not welcome. Hitchhike your ass back home and get in your own broken ass mobile. AND…. Put the fucking seat and mirrors back in the original position please. Who the hell do you think you are?

Per Billy Joel: “Go ahead with your own life, leave me alone.”

Said for the better….makes you feel worse

  • “Oh….you don’t have to do that right now.  (Long Pause) You can do it later.” This is mostly a spouse to spouse thing.  I love that they give permission for you to do work at a later time. Screw helping you! They have more important things to do.
  • “You aren’t fat. Your metabolism is just slow”. Hey….thanks for the heads up. I feel so much better now that you reminded me it’s going to be harder to lose the weight.
  • “You look good to me.” So what you’re saying is….I’m an ugly ass bitch and everyone knows it.
  • “You aren’t a bitch. You’re just you.” What the hell is that supposed to mean? So, in other words, my name is a synonym for bitch!
  • “You aren’t a bad parent. You could just do better.” Usually….people don’t tell good parents they need to improve. Have you called social services yet?
  • “It’s not you. It’s me.” and “You’re too good for me.” Seriously…..If it were you, then your ass would have been dumped a long time ago. I love the too good for me line. We all want better. That’s the bullshit they spin when they have “someone better” waiting in the wings.
  • “At least you’ll save money on groceries.” Now this one is exactly what I said to my father when my mom left him. I was nine and thought it was helpful. It wasn’t.
  • “You aren’t what I expected.” So….what did you expect  you judgemental ass? I guess I should be grateful that I exceeded your low expectations.
  • “It could be worse.” Well…not helpful because we both know it could be a hell of a lot better.

I think there are some other things out there that could be said to make even more people feel better.

  • “You aren’t a whore slut. You’re just super friendly.”
  • “You aren’t a drunk. You just like the taste of alcohol.”
  • “You aren’t bad in bed.  I just have a nervous laugh.”
  • “Your cooking is awesome. I just forgot I was on a diet.”
  • “You aren’t stupid. You’re just conserving air.”
  • “You aren’t too big. You’re clothes are too small.”
  • “You aren’t ugly. You just look better in the moonlight.”