Many moons ago, my son asked if the Easter bunny was real. he said he really, really wanted to know. After telling him no, he said he knew it. After all, a big bunny hopping around bringing baskets is ridiculous.
He got his little sister. They wanted to know if Santa was real. Again, they really wanted to know. I gave a great explanation about the history behind St. Nick and how it all began. They handled it great. They were smiling and engaged.
THEN……..they wanted to know about the tooth fairy and anyone else represented by a Hallmark holiday. I told them all of it was made up.
THEN…..The eyes bulged and the lips quivered.
Their eyes burned through me, for what felt like ten hours (probably 3 seconds), but in kid time, same thing. AND IN NO TIME……..the horror ensued. They began screaming and crying hysterically. They said I lied about Santa. AND……..Why was I tricking them? I think one of their heads spun around.
Quickly, I regrouped and told them they were right. I did lie to them. “Mommy was fooling around and playing a joke”, I said.
My son decided I lied about the bunny too.
I’m sure the event will trigger some degree of PTSD in the future.
THE OTHER DAY: My son asked for help with his language arts homework. He was struggling. I gave him my expertise. He appeared to believe me, then said, “How do I even trust you? You could just be lying to me.”
Clearly, lies are like memory foam……….even the truths, we say are lies. That would be the “double lie” impact.
In the end……….I secured my children’s innocence and their belief in magic, at least for a while.
I also increased the likelihood that they will never believe a word I say.
WELL………at least I know they fit in with all the other children their age, who don’t believe their parents either.
AND…………That’s how it goes when mommy is a big, fat, nasty, f’ing liar!
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Tags: call social services, kids, lessons, Santa, totally sober, What the fuck were you thinking?
