Born Into Darkness


Born into darkness

Chaotic DNA

The storm

She’s my mother

My father

Faraway

No light to follow

Just broken glass

Creeping

Toes tipped

The nightmares

Get past

Tracker disabled

To no avail

Something

It’s pulling

The ripcord

It failed

So utterly true

Undeniably stuck

The connection

Too long

Who knows

Just dumb luck

Then the blindness

Pounds repetition

If not now

When

Escape

This condition

…..Can’t stay to seek

…..Their fleeting permission

Born into darkness

Chaotic DNA

The storm

She’s my mother

My father

Faraway

Let’s read a good book together.


Listen…….Anyone who really knows me, knows it’s been a long time since I’ve read a book. A cookbook, checkbook, book of matches…….well……those “books” are about all I’ve been able to handle lately.

BUT……..

Sometimes you see something that makes you want to take the time. And….A friend brought this to my attention and I’m happy to share.

I know I’ve got book lovers out there. I see you. Yes you! BUT……This isn’t just about loving books. Are you a lover of heartfelt moments, inspiring tales, and gut wrenching- drag you in stories? Do you want to get caught up in someone’s struggle to overcome and survive while rooting for them all the way?   Well…..Watch this trailer and decide for yourself. It certainly makes me want to be a part of this story, even if it’s only as a reader.

 

It’s said: You can’t judge a book by its cover, but I’ve never heard anything about the trailer! Go to Amazon to check out In Harlem’s Way.

 

 

 

 

 

I don’t


I don’t dare -

Feel like this will never end

All the pain….

All the hurt….

Despite the will to bend

I don’t think -

Time will ever change

That way….

That look….

The cards are all arranged

I don’t know -

The path that this will take

What length…

What light….

Will magnify mistakes

I don’t need -

To go back to that place

For you….

For them….

So your pain can be erased

I don’t care -

If it all comes tumbling down

To prove….

To show….

There’s no way to get around

I don’t try -

To pretend it’s all okay

All the pain….

All the hurt…..

Will make me stronger every day

It’s not you. It’s me.


(No apologies for length. I haven’t written this effortlessly in a long time. I’m enjoying the flow. “No sorry for you!”)

ANYWAY…..I hope everyone’s recovered from my post the other day. I heard 911 calls went up about 45%. Sorry for the shock.! I know. I know. I deviated from the norm on this blog, but only a little with a bit of a lot mixed in. I’ve always been a “tell it like it is” kind of person, so I just told it like it was. My walk with Christ has been on my mind and I thought I’d give it a shout out. I’m not trying to be preachy or tell you how to live. This is about me. If you get something out of this for yourself, then great. If you don’t, then you stopped by for a read and that’s cool.

For those resistant to change, this isn’t going to become a Bible blog. There are a ton of those out there and they don’t need the competition. Although, The Unexpected Christian has a nice ring to it, or maybe The Wacky Witness.  I’ll let you know if we ever need to vote on a new name. In the meantime…….I’m sure things will be focused on and written about a bit differently due to the journey I’m embarking on. Who knows? I might talk about my “walk” each time I post. Maybe I’ll develop a spaghetti fetish or a fear of gravel and start writing about that. If that’s how it goes, then that’s how it goes.

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What’s going on here??!!

Make no mistake, this is still my blog. It will be filled with humor (….my opinion), variety and an unusual level of TMI regarding my personal experiences. What can I say? I like to share stories. Is that a crime?

In the end, I hope I don’t lose too many of you. I’d be naïve to think you’ll all stick around. Let’s face it, change doesn’t sit well with everyone. And no…..I’m not talking about coins. Although, pennies must be offensive because they can always be found lying around. No one wants them. So sad. Anyway……Change is scary and uncomfortable. For some reason, a lot of us just don’t handle it well. Perhaps if we switch the word change to improve(ments). Now that sounds easier to swallow, doesn’t it?

Let’s recap some improvements I’ve written about here:

  • ALCOHOL: Two years ago, I decided to cut my alcohol consumption. No one said: “You suck! You need to drink alcohol to be funny and have friends”. Instead, I was met with support and a lot of well-meaning jokes. Do I still consume alcoholic beverages? Yes. BUT……It’s no longer an every weekend, get together, “girl talk”, kids are out of school, “I had a bad day” or “I had a good day kind of thing”. And now…….I consume beer with a percentage of alcohol so low, a fly falls in and struggles to swim out just to call me a light-weight.

  • HEALTHIER LIVING: A little over a year ago, I decided to lose weight and get healthy. Again…….I never heard “Your big clothes are going to hate you. Stop trying to feel better.”  Like before, I was met with support and love. Do I still eat junk? Absolutely. Do I have a strict exercise regime that I stick to weekly? No. BUT……I went from a size 16 to an 8 in one year. Quite an improvement for me.

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NOW: I’m on a journey with Christ to improve my life. I’m not aiming for perfection, just better. Like the drinking and the healthy living, it’s a lifestyle change. Got that? Lifestyle…..meaning FOR LIFE. See what I did there? I went from a little improvement to a change. That’s how it works people. You make improvements and it can’t help but lead to change. Unlike a new hairstyle or outfit, this is for keeps. The fact is, I’ve tried this Christian Coat on since I was a child. (Those dressing room mirrors really bite!) I finally bought it almost nine-years ago, but was too afraid to take off the tags. I JUST RIPPED THE TAGS OFF! No returns now.

Like my other journeys, I hope you support me in this. You don’t have to like it or even take the trip with me, but I hope you respect my decision and where it takes me. It brought me back to writing, and that works for me.

ALL SAILORS ARE WELCOME, EVEN PIRATES!!

My blog is born again and I’m gonna “walk the walk”.


WARNING: Wordy. BUT….It’s been a long time, so don’t you owe me?

Yep. I’m talking about this barren blog. For those of you who still pay attention on here, you’ll see that everything is gone. You can laugh uncomfortably, but don’t cry. Things have been crazy busy, but mostly in my head. Though that isn’t unusual, I’ve been struggling with this blog for awhile. Haven’t you heard? I’m evolving.

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Let me try to explain. Okay…..Here’s where I might lose some of you, literally and metaphorically.  Leaving breadcrumbs won’t help. I’ll just turn around and eat them.

Anyway…..I was in a “not so hot” marriage and traveling down the road of divorce in 2004. I thought to myself: “I need God! He’ll fix this.” (Not how it works by the way.) and began going to a church, which can only be described as a “ Kool-Aid Supplier”. I was too naive (…seriously) to realize most everyone had red punch stains around their lips. There I was, drowning in a sea of hypocrisy and mumbo jumbo. The lifeguards didn’t even know CPR. Still an idiot to all that was wrong there, I got saved in 2005. And….not from a plane crash, not from a near drowning and not from food poisoning. I got saved as in “accepted Jesus Christ as my Savior”. Are you still with me? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller? Beuller? Now…..It was sincere. I really accepted him, but the people who surrounded me at the time, were not the best supporting cast. If my memory serves, I was baptized on my 35th birthday. My “friends”  took me out on my birthday for food and drinks…….before the baptism. I’m pretty sure it shouldn’t have gone down like that. Also, they held posters up with some kind of encouraging words and got a bit rowdy. Really, it wasn’t America’s Got Religious Talent. I should’ve know then.

Let’s fast forward through the rest: I spent a lot of years struggling (…still am)  because the “mentors” I found weren’t quite legit. They were always around and were super friendly, but their values and morals didn’t match up. They were good at talking the talk, but they had a hard time walking the walk. Now…..I understand that no one is perfect. Everyone stumbles and falls, but let’s just say their catch phrase should’ve been “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up.” I finally left the brick and mortar behind, but it took me several more years to break from the flesh and bone influences. It’s not to say they influenced my decisions, but they influenced my mood, my spirit. and even my reaction to things when I was in their presence. I’ve said many times that you need to surround yourself with those who share the same values you do. And religion aside, the most basic values were not there. I finally broke free. It was painful and ugly, but I feel like I can breathe again……oxygen, not carbon dioxide.

SO……Let’s get to now and why my blog content has mysteriously disappeared. As far as people go, I think I’m pretty good. I have a good heart and I care about others….blah, blah, blah. BUT…..As a role model for my kids and to truly live my salvation, I could use some tweaking. For example: Cursing like a sailor (slight exaggeration) might not really be necessary. Finding new ways and words to express myself, could be challenging and fun.

It’s a New Year…..almost. It’s time to come clean. One of my resolutions is to “walk the walk”. And….This blog has to be a part of it. I’ve made all my posts private until I can go through them and repost with adjustments. My friend assures me I can “walk the walk” and still be my humorous self. Let’s see if she’s right. If I don’t walk quite right, I’ll blame it on my recent foot surgeries. Can I do that? Does it work that way?

Buddy Walk with me.


A Dose of Justice:

This is a wonderful cause that I am personal invested in. Please consider donating and spreading the word to your friends and family.

Originally posted on A Dose of Justice (...courtesy of my crazy mom):

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I’m Justice and I’m four months shy of the Big Three. That’s years if you weren’t sure. Let me tell you what’s going on here. My family is coming with me and participating in the Buddy Walk (for Down Syndrome) in Northern Virginia this September. Are you ready to hear our team name? We are the “Justice League”. Yep. I think that’s a pretty cool name my mommy’s friend picked.

Here is the 411 if any of you still use that nowadays.

I’m walking with my family in the Northern Virginia Buddy Walk, to show my support for the more than 350,000 individuals with Down syndrome in the United States. I want to do my part to make sure that each individual is given every opportunity to reach their full potential.

Every step I take, every dollar I raise will help ensure that each individual with Down syndrome in the…

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