Ruminating The Rumors


A lie is a horrible thing, but a lie with wings is even worse. It flies as far and high as possible, wreaking havoc and destroying lives, or at least….trying to. These pretty little birds of flight are known as RUMORS.

No one has successfully avoided the rumor mill. You either created a rumor, helped spread one, or were on the receiving end.  BUT….Make no mistake, you’ve been tainted. 

Here are a few created and spread about me. Some caught flight for bit and some experienced a horrible death after I clipped their wings.

  • The summer before 9th grade, my mother moved to Texas. I decided to leave Virginia and spend the break with her.  When I returned to school, I discovered that I had given my baby away.  Apparently, I went away to hide my pregnancy and give birth. Who knew!!??!! (Any rich and famous 30-year-olds needing a mommy? Look me up!)
  • After my divorce, my ex told everyone he could (at my children’s events) that I stole 100,000 dollars from him. AND…..Used that money to buy a used car. Okay. Do you see the fucking logic in that?
  • The Spouse-No-Mores tried to convince the world that my hubby and I were cheaters and caused the first marriages to end. NOW….If they meant : We were cheaters because we got together before the divorce papers were signed, then okay. AND…..If they meant: We ended the marriages because we actually bought into the fidelity thing on their part, then okay. I guess they were right.
  • One Spouse-No-More went as far as to tell the children’s “Christian” preschool teacher that I was a slutty cheater. Just the thought of it must have turned that ex on, because every school day, they would follow me outside, into the parking lot, and stop short of my vehicle.  They brought their manly-looking woman friend to stalk along with them. I think they wanted to have sex with me.  Who could blame them??!! It didn’t take long for the teacher and moms to learn the truth.
  • An ex (fondly referred to as: SpongeBob Squarepants) said I slept with 1/2 the county. I tried to do the math, and I’m pretty sure that wasn’t really possible. BUT……Maybe I was unconscious at the time, and the other time, and the other time, and the other time, and the…………..
  • After I broke up with a high school boyfriend, he told classmates he did sexual things to me in church, where his father was the preacher, with people sitting around us. Wow! Talk about a religious experience!
  • One of my ex-stepmothers (had 4) said she suspected me of having an inappropriate relationship with my dad because I hugged him goodnight. In her defense, she thought raising her own offspring was too much coddling and let the state put her kids with other folks.

RUMOR QUOTES:

Rumors are mostly a projection of the individual who started them. (ROYA R. RAD, Therapy Dialogue)

Those who feed on rumors are small, suspicious souls. (CHARLES R. SWINDOLL, Growing Strong in the Seasons of Life)

You know what rumors are like–like a jar full of moths. Once they escape, they’re all over the place. (RHYS BOWEN, Oh Danny Boy)

People who spread rumors are like walking infections. The lying words from their mouths spread like disease from person to person. The only way to stop the disease is to keep your mouth shut. (JOYCE HANSEN, One True Friend)

Rumors are created by the jealous and spread by the ignorant. Fortunately, the truth usually wins our!

Weekly Photo Challenge: Future Tense


Scrabble Photo 001

This is the future, but also right now.

You aren’t welcome back, no way, no how.

No open arms and no open doors.

It’s clear to all, if it wasn’t before.

You are damaged and toxic, with no moral code.

Picking on children at your age. How bold!

We understand your life sucks pretty hard.

But that’s your fault, so don’t throw crap in our yard.

Haters hate and you are no exception.

I’m pretty sure it started at your conception.

If you’re still in the dark, let me turn on the light.

Without you around, the future is bright.

(Word to your mother…..)

 

Someone got dementia in the divorces, but it wasn’t me.


Due to distractions, I wasn’t going to write anything tonight,  but I couldn’t help myself. Sometimes a situation or a person with a narcissistic personality disorder warrants a post to be born. In this case, it would be the latter.

To celebrate my anniversary I posted Jodie Foster inspired me.  It seems that one of the spouse-no-mores, (you know) was very troubled by my words.

YOUR VERSION OF REALITY: 

  • You claim to have found the link to this off one of our Facebook pages (1st fucking lie).
  • You said you only knew about the blog because one of the kids reads it (2nd fucking lie). 
  • You said the post was about you (3rd fucking lie or 1st delusion).
  • You  claim that everyone is reading my blog (2nd delusion). Can you make that happen?
  • Then, you called me demented (4th fucking lie, 3rd delusion and a total ignorance for vocabulary).

ACTUAL REALITY:

  • I rarely link one of these posts  to  a personal Facebook account. Believe it or not, this blog isn’t for everyone. AND….I didn’t link this one. Besides, we’re not FB friends with you! I do however have a lovely blog about my beautiful son if you want to stalk visit that one: A Dose of Justice. 
  • The kids know they aren’t allowed to read this blog. I have total faith in them. IF……. I’m wrong, then having one be a deceitful sneaky person, should concern you more than my adult blog. 
  • Seriously? The post was about myself and my amazing husband, who I have rocking sex with all the time. Do you need me to repeat anything? Sorry, but you didn’t even make the highlight reel. A little full of ourselves, are we?
  • I have it on good authority that half of Brazil is not quite aware of my blog. You got your facts wrong.
  • So let’s address the demented comment. Shall we??!!?? I think you need the definition of the word.

(bing.com · Bing Dictionary)

de·ment·ed

[ di méntəd ]

  1. entirely irrational: completely unreasonable or lacking any sense of the consequences of actions taken
  2. affected with dementia: affected by the loss of intellectual functions that is associated with dementia

WHAT I THINK IS DEMENTED:

  • To lie so naturally, you can’t recognize the truth anymore.
  • To use manipulation (guilt, threats, fear, anger) with a child/children to feel superior.
  • To suggest your spouse-no-more has something sexually wrong with them because they didn’t want to touch you anymore. HINT: It’s called sexual attraction.
  • To pretend you didn’t break your wedding vows over and over again, use physical force in the relationship, and degrade your spouse-no-more with every word and action.
  • To act like everything bad you did, your spouse-no-more actually did when telling “stories”.
  • To believe that anyone with “real” self-esteem, who isn’t socially, emotionally and physically constipated, is DEMENTED.
  • LASTLY…….To view my blog. Did you really think you would like it? HOW YOU LIKE ME NOW!!!!!!

 

Wordless-ish Wednesday: What a stinker!

Image


Toilet Dump 001

SEX THIS YEAR Threatens Stay-at Home Mom with Disabled Child Living Paycheck to Paycheck


It’s not that exciting people. SEX THIS YEAR is the name of a “magazine” and WordPress blog site. The creator has his panties in a bunch over an earlier blog post Jeremie Mouithsone: Who?  . I say……get bigger panties and stop attempting to bully me.

Clearly, he didn’t read the post or doesn’t understand the language I used. That would be ENGLISH! I posted a copy of a letter HE sent to me. I added my own little spin. Apparently, my post brought unwanted attention to Mr. Mouithsone……AND…….He “no likey”. Someone said they were screwed over by him, and some woman mentioned his pre-ejaculation issues.

WELL……Here he is, verbally pre-ejaculating here. I took a second comment directed towards Lawrence off. Seriously Mr. Mouithsone! Lawrence and I aren’t blog roomies. Take your issues to his side of the internet. I am not a couples counselor.

Here’s what he sent to me:

Hell Lorre,

I hope you have already seen my response to your stupid, messages, If I can remember, you and I have never had any business deal, and I wonder why you go about spreading wrong message about online?

Here are my conditions, please do take that article about me down, within the next few days, otherwise I would now choice, but to destroy your entire life online and I mean it.

As mentioned above, Lawrence was a client of ours, we did provide ads as promised, but he went on stalking on the girl that was assigned to his account, and we had no choice but discontinue his campaign. We have all proofs, such as his harassment emails send to the girl.

So I’m giving you two days to pull down the article, failure to do so, will result into an online fight between you and me, and trust me, you don’t want to see what I would say about you, because I will find your real name.

So, please pull down you article, I do not know you, and I’ve never done anything wrond to you

My response:

Hell Jeremie,

Listen. Although, I appreciate you “liking” my post and becoming a follower, I really need you to step into reality. Perhaps where you’re from, its common to throw tantrums and bully women. In America, most women aren’t threatened by men, who are shorter than their twelve-year-old. Plus, I think my daughter has more facial hair than you. (Sorry baby!) I’ll give you an “A” for effort though. If I hadn’t had so much coffee before reading your note, I probably would’ve given you a 1 on the threat scale.

Let me take some responsibility here. I’m sorry I posted an email you sent me, which became my property once you did. I’m sorry I added humor to the letter and gave your “highly regarded in your mind” magazine free press. Apparently, there is no humor in your land.

To be clear, we never did any monkey business together. And definitely not funny business! Also, I post wrong messages and pics on the internet all the time. It is a learning curve, but as a follower, you’ll catch on. I also have a strict policy about not deleting my posts. Unless the order comes directly from the President, or someone offering me bundles of cash, I can’t do it.

Its kind of exciting…..getting under someone’s skin so much, they want to destroy your entire life online.  You do know that I am not a virtual character, right?!? I didn’t even use the internet until I was out of college. So…...in essence, you are leaving me with the best years of my life. Regarding destroying my life, thanks for saying you “mean it”. It is important to keep promises.

You and Lawrence have a very complex relationship. It is full of passion and money exchanging hands. You two need to get a room and hash it out. I’m not into that scene.

Thanks for warning me about the fight. Are we going to meet after school or during recess? And thanks for not being a sexist. Clearly, you have no issues threatening a member of the opposite sex. You make me feel like one of the little guys. Just so you know, I’ve heard it all before. There is nothing you can say about me that I haven’t said and posted myself. If you have trouble finding things, there’s a porn video floating around with me and some zoo animals. I filmed it before I was placed in witness protection for breaking up the Animal Prostitution Ring of 92. Its okay if you find out my real name. Witness protection will just relocate me and give me a new one. I’m kind of getting tired of Iowa. Oh fuck! I guess I have to move on.

So again Jeremie, I’m sorry you are so upset, but I appreciate the word “please” when threatening me. You are one classy guy. And you’re right, you never did any “wrond” to me. You just did something “wrond” to the English language. And best of luck with your magazine and your WordPress blog that doesn’t allow ads. I love the free theme you picked out. It is the same one my son picked to blog about his Xbox games.

P.S: Can you reconsider though? Maybe you could go after my real-life. I have too many kids, one with special needs, I’m overwhelmed, under appreciated, have bunions, have painful varicose veins, some unknown growth on my cervix, $5.41 in savings, hair that’s falling out, pants I have to use a rubber band to fit into, a bitching menstrual cycle going on, only three beers in the frig, a ridiculous electric bill   ………………………………………………………………………………..

I finally did it RED! Here’s my 1 crazy to your 1,000,000,000 crazy.

Sorry for the non-phallic length. Get comfy!


Sometimes, when a “grown” adult, shows their ass (…not literally…thank goodness…) by insulting a person for no other reason than: “grown” adult is ignorant, under/over-medicated, drunk, or just plain unstable…………I have to laugh inside, after feeling deeply sorry for their apparent issues. This happened quite recently, when Someone Having Inborn Troubles (S.H.I.T) called me a “fucking psychopath”. I don’t know if S.H.I.T thought I would be angry, start to cry or what. BUT………I thought it was trashy and sad.

Psycho or misunderstood?

Let me give you the back story on why S.H.I.T called me this: _____(?)_____ Okay. You know as much as I do. Of course, I could speculate. BUT………..My made up ideas would be as bad as their made up reasons for lashing out, SO…………I won’t go there. I am quite curious to understand the breakdown of their insult though.

Things that make you go hmmmm!

*fuck·ing*

damned; confounded (used as an intensifier).

OKAY………So there really isn’t much to address here. If you are going to throw out the word psychopath, bitch, slut, or even dumbass………..I guess adding this word in front adds “umph”. Good for you for showing some extra initiative.

Nice application!

*psy·cho·path*

a person with a psychopathic personality, which manifests as amoral and antisocial behavior, lack of ability to love or establish meaningful personal relationships, extreme egocentricity, failure to learn from experience

      a·mor·al

      1. not involving questions of right or wrong; without moral quality; neither moral nor immoral.

      2. having no moral standards, restraints, or principles; unaware of or indifferent to questions of right or wrong: a completely amoral person.

      e·go·cen·tric

      1. having or regarding the self or the individual as the center of all things: an egocentric philosophy that ignores social causes.

      2. having little or no regard for interests, beliefs, or attitudes other than one’s own; self-centered: an egocentric person; egocentric demands upon the time and patience of others.

This is a lot to work through.

SO………Let’s address this.

  • I’m not amoral, except on this blog.
  • I understand and comply with the rules of right and wrong. WELL……..Maybe not when I told my daughter and her friends that the boy group One Direction died after suffocating in their skinny jeans.
  • I have moral standards, restraints and principles. AND………To be clear………what goes on in my bedroom, with my hubby, doesn’t factor in. BUT………..we definitely have restraints.
  • I couldn’t confuse myself as being the center of things if I wanted to. My life revolves around my family, who know its all about me.
  • I am passionate about social causes, especially those involving children. I fully endorse child labor.
  • I take a great interest in my friend’s lives and what they are passionate about. Well, as long as it pertains to me.
  • I am open to other’s beliefs and attitudes. So what if I don’t agree with your sorry ass views.
  • I don’t demand attention from others. Please make sure to “chain letter” my blog posting to 20 of your friends or you suck.

SERIOUSLY……….All joking aside. Except for all of the sentences beginning with “I”, I am not egocentric. I am not amoral, and therefore, am not a psychopath. Besides, if I really were a psycho, you shouldn’t call me one. Real psychos wouldn’t remain calm and mature. They would go off on your ass and for less than name calling.

BUT……..I don’t want you going through life worrying about knowing a psychopath, and a “fucking” one at that……..I will make some promises, based on the definitions above, so you sleep with both eyes shut.

I will not:

hate someone because I wanted “their love” to date a person of my choosing.

send nasty text messages to “?”, and then forward them to “?’s” minor child and spouse.

get drunk and grab people’s private parts.

kill animals or people, except with humor.

invite men over to my home when my spouse isn’t around.

cheat and blame someone else.

encourage friends to stray, but criticize “non-friends” who cheat.

surf porn while reading the Bible.

curse and degrade my children for sport.

befriend someone, while secretly working to put their job/child visitation and freedom at risk.

flaunt my son’s special needs for my own amusement/attention.

pretend my mini-van is cool.

encourage my kids to do/say inappropriate things so I can put it on the internet.

think everything that is said or done is all about me.

become jealous and devalue (publically) others for skills they possess that I don’t.

lie about my age more than 2x.

think its cool to have minions.

go through friends like underwear because I’m insecure.

get jealous when others get attention.

wear white after labor day, unless it yellowed.

abuse the generosity of others.

get upset if my friends have other friends they spend time with.

say horrible, insensitive things when people are at their lowest.

double dip with the peanut butter.

try to turn people against each other because I need a project for the day.

be a S.H.I.T and take my problems out on others.

(Not that any of this matters to someone who doesn’t read my blog anyway, right??!!??)

I’ve been learning sign language.

Infected by a socially inept person: It’s not contagious, but it burns like hell.


Socially-inept-person-contactitis is like a bad rash in the wrong place, or an evil so piercing, you need an exorcist to free you. No matter how many showers you take, you can’t feel clean again. YES………That’s the kind of negative impact some people have. AND…….You’re thinking about some of them now. Aren’t you? I know you are.

Make no mistake. Whoever comes to mind…….there are thousands more like them. These people can live anywhere, be any age, any intellect, any gender and any nationality. They are either born with a social stutter or acquire one through personal experience. You may be married to a socially inept person. HEY……..CHIN UP! Love is blind, deaf and dumb. SO……..You’re forgiven, but good luck getting off that sinking ship. BUT…..It helps if you’re just as socially lethal. In that case, you both make a lovely couple…….of annoying asses.

Dictionary.com defines inept as:

  1. without skill or aptitude for a particular task or assignment
  2. generally awkward or clumsy; haplessly incompetent.
  3. inappropriate; unsuitable; out of place.
  4. absurd or foolish: an inept remark.

Social competence requires the correct balance between the following:

  • Personality: cold dead fish vs. Where’s the off button?
  • Spirit: stick too far up the ass vs. Put it back in your pants.
  • Humor: Rated G vs. Rated XXX
  • Personal Information: squeezing blood out of a turnip vs. Wow! Those kids really tore your vagina up.
  • Personal Space: You won’t catch cooties. vs. You hair is stuck in my zipper.
  • Bragging Rights: I’m such a loser. I should be dead. vs. Here is my résumé to get into heaven or on a reality show.
  • Appearance: invisible vs. flashing lights

Areas where there is no balance. There is only 100% commitment:

  • Honesty
  • Respect
  • Civility
  • Manners
  • Morals
  • Ethics

The only cure for socially-inept-person-contactitis is distance and time. The distance thing is a no-brainer, but time is necessary for the hanger-ons. Due to their social ineptness, they don’t realize it’s time to move on and leave well enough alone. We’ll pretend that your name is Well Enough. It’s like training a dog, but not breasts. Let’s face it. The name training bra makes no sense. You can’t train your breasts to stay up permanently, and not without plastic surgery. Like a dog, you need to be patient and consistent. Any deviation from the plan, will cause horrendous repercussions. Don’t be alarmed. As long as you stick to the plan and don’t  scratch, the swelling will go down and the itching will go away.

SADLY………..There is no way to prevent this disease from infecting you in the future. There is no surefire way to detect the onset, and symptoms only appear after having direct contact for a period of time. This is because “socially intelligent” people try to give the benefit of the doubt. By the time you realize there is no hope, you have been infected. If this happens: Continue with the distance and time regimen.

It’s not me. IT’S YOU!


How many times have we heard “It’s not you. It’s me.” in movies or real life? AND………Then it wraps up with the line about being friends. BUT………..What if being friendly is the problem?

How about we switch it around. It is the other person and fuck forget being friends. I’m not talking about romantic relationships here. I’m referring to other types of relationships. Romantic breakups are the most common, but friends, neighbors, co-workers and even family members breakup with one another. Just because you’re family, go to the same church, work together, live on the same street or have people in common, that doesn’t mean it’s meant to be for the two of you.  AND………..Those breakups can be messier and more emotional than the romantic ones. I think most people are just too sensitive to not being liked by all. BUT……..We, as a society have been fed a lot of crap along the way.

Why is it so difficult to break away from these relationships? It’s because we’ve heard cookie cutter one liners all our lives, encouraging us to muddle through, even if we can’t stand one another. Such as:

  • Blood is thicker than water.
  • Family is forever.
  • Be neighborly.
  • It’s important to work together.
  • Kiss and make-up.
  • Let’s all be friends.
  • Say you’re sorry and go back to being friends.
  • Can’t we all just get along? (for the new generations)

AND……What makes it worse, are the dumbasses that believe and utilize the following:

  • Express yourself.
  • Tell them how you feel.
  • Don’t hold back.
  • You got something to say. Say it to my face. (maturity at it’s best)
  • You’ll feel better when you vent.
  • Honesty is the best policy.

I think it’s all total crap. We feel trapped into having relationships we don’t want. Then, we feel guilty if we don’t continue them. AND………When things go astray for whatever reason, the opening up stuff begins. Bullshit! If you have a relationship worth salvaging, then go for it with manners and intellect, but most people take the opening up advice wrong. They say things only a drunken mental patient should say. AND NOW………….Texting, Facebook and other media outlets, have provided ways for people to be complete idiots. I’m not a licensed therapist. Hell, I’m not even an unlicensed one, but I’ll put in my two cents worth anyway.

  • Vent to yourself until you’ve gotten all the rude bullshit out. Then, no one will be the wiser and you can carryon with life. Remember: You can’t take it back!
  • Don’t bother others with stuff they don’t need to hear. Only a Jerry Springer guest would put up with cursing or cut downs and still want to have some type of relationship.
  • Once you’ve made an ass out of yourself, you could extend an olive branch. If no one reaches for it, then have some dignity and walk away. Afterall, you know what you did. Let’s not add stalking to the list.

The best quote I’ve ever heard is from 1942. It allows for good manners, but doesn’t deny true feelings.

“If you can’t say something nice, don’t say nothin’ at all. ”

― Thumper

Personally, I think the people you surround yourself with, says a lot. It’s an indication of who you are and how you want to live. If there are people in your life that:

  • hold you back
  • cause drama
  • are negative
  • drain you emotionally (suffocate you)
  • bring nothing to the table (add no value)
  • go against your values
  • interfere with your personal/work life
  • BIG RED FLAG: Cause you to cry, feel anxiety or get nausea when you encounter them…….

……..then “Thumper” them and hop away.

Doing it old school……high school that is.


OKAY………So I debated about this post for a bit. Sorry to go all juvenile on you guys, but it must be done.  In the past two years, I’ve had to deal with a few people unraveling……….0 to 60 for no clear reason. If I thought my health insurance would cover it, I’d get the magnet removed that causes the attraction.  Let me clear things up for several people.

  • I am not responsible if your family gets murdered.
  • My husband and I are not swingers. BUT…..….If we were, sorry…….You two are not our type.
  • I believe people should pay their debts, even if you owe a millionaire money.
  • It’s poor form to grab my husband’s crotch and act like it was an accident.
  • Stealing someone’s property is ILLEGAL!
  • I exercise to stay in shape, not to piss you off.
  • Sending my hubby messages via Facebook and/or phone is unwise.
  • Make no mistake, my husband is on my side.
  • I heard you did me a favor by being my friend. Gee……Thanks!
  • Not everything is about you.
  • I’ve only posted about one (the Despicable One). Up until this post, you’ve just been feeding into your own paranoia.
  • No one gets to mess with my kids without some backlash.
  • I don’t care how drunk someone is. I don’t like people grabbing my breasts.
  • Coming into my home and being mean to my friends, is beyond uncool.
  • Before you start calling people names, you should really look up the definitions of the words you use.
  • My kids can hear their sailor talk from me, but thanks for the free language arts lesson.
  • Your world is very small, but mine isn’t.
  • I love drama, but only on the stage.
  • Heavy drinking is not my idea of socializing. I have a life and a liver to protect.
  • My husband’s tolerance of your disrespect for him, doesn’t make him a wimp…….it makes him a gentleman.
  • It’s okay to close the bridge without feeling like you have to set it on fire.
  • We share a different idea of success and a different set of values.
  • Most of the problems we’ve had……….are all in your head.
  • We will never be friends again, but I wish you the best………because that’s how I roll!