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Flash in the Pan: Vise/Vice

26 Sep

My wife just couldn’t accept the inevitable. Time moves on. We age and we grow. The twins were no exception. As much as she wanted them to stay their perfect and cute size, it wasn’t going to happen.  Time passed, just like I told her it would. New growth spurts occurred with every birthday, but she couldn’t adjust.

“I’ve never seen you so upset,” I said to my wife as I embraced her. “It’s natural sweetheart. Please stop crying.”

“But….Things will never be the same. I can barely breathe,” she said as she gasped for air.

“Sweetie,” I said. ”Fat happens. I’ll just get the vise. Before you know it, you’ll be back into that size thirty-six bra and then we’ll work on those jeans.”

“You’re such an ass,” she said. “Why does your one vice have to be brutal honesty?”

 

This was another M3 Flash Fiction Challenge, using vice and/or vise and a 150 word limit. This work has a 141 word count.

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13 Responses to “Flash in the Pan: Vise/Vice”

  1. Aurora HSP September 26, 2012 at 7:35 PM #

    LOL Forget the vise, just get a bigger bra. It’s great, feels great and they stick up and out more so it makes the jeans looks smaller anyway, lol.

  2. Red September 26, 2012 at 8:39 PM #

    Awesome!! Love it! Linking and transferring now! I adore your humor.
    Red.

  3. Michelle Gillies September 26, 2012 at 10:17 PM #

    Too funny and other than the twins part, very familiar. ;-)

  4. ansuyo September 26, 2012 at 10:47 PM #

    Lol. How about shrink wrap?

  5. Valentine Logar September 28, 2012 at 7:21 AM #

    This was marvelous!

    Vice…..ah me

  6. mj monaghan September 29, 2012 at 8:07 PM #

    Good one! I liked the play on vice and vise. Especially the “vise” one. Too funny.

Speak freely, but try not to be a big ass. Carryon!

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